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emmanation

You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for December, 2008

the end of the world as we know it

Tuesday, December 30th, 2008

  • The large hadron collider scares the hell out of me if I think about it too hard.
jeesh. goosebumps, man.

jeesh. goosebumps, man.

  • The bodies exhibit – you know, the one where people donated their corpses to be sliced very thinly… kind of like carpaccio I guess… ew – is on display at the Colorado Mills Mall. You know, the outlet one. When I saw it a year or two ago it was at the Natural History Museum. If I donated my body to some scientist and a few years afterwards I was touring the outlet mall of America, I’d be wicked pissed.
  • Dating two men at the same time is not right – that’s why they invented dueling.
  • My grandparents neighborhood of Littleton is either the safest or the scariest place I’ve ever been. Witness – locked myself out yesterday while Mom and Grandma were at the hospital with Grandpa. While I was attempting to remove the screen from the front window and climb through, a police officer drove by. And ignored me. And the five inCREDibly loud dogs inside who were barking at me like I was a complete stranger. After I completely failed on the climbing through portion of my plan, I started serially door knocking, looking for a spare key or possibly a phone. I was welcomed with open arms at every location. No one cared that I was filthy and had absolutely no proof of what I was saying. Again – either awesome or terrifying. I can’t decide. I’m pretty glad that copper didn’t throw me in the hoosegow though.
  • American Idol starts in a couple of weeks. I’m considering being a freak about it this year, seeing as how they’ve replaced Paula. I intend to watch a few episodes then side very strongly against the new girl. Or for her. I’m keeping an open mind on that, I guess  - she’s written some of Kelly Clarkson’s songs and they’re pretty much awesome to belt along with, so I’m leaning towards the ‘for her’ right now. I figure either way I have to watch at least once more before I’m too old to compete – at that point it will just be depressing.
  • My Grandpa’s nurses are funny and awesome and loving, and I’m sure there’s a link between that and the overwhelming preponderance of women in the feild. Funny and awesome and loving are not solely female traits, of course, but I think we have the monopoly on them.
  • I’m considering taking up smoking in solidarity for Obama. Probably the bubble gum cigarettes that have the flour inside the paper, if I can find them. But maybe the real ones if those fake ones are too hard to come by. If the president (elect) does it, it’s good enough for this girl!

Stay tuned for my best of 2008 post! I have no idea what’s going to be on it, but it’s going to be legen…. wait for it ….dary.

Sunday Best

Sunday, December 28th, 2008

 

Chocolate with cherries and pistachios.... red and green for christmas get it? And chocolate for... well, chocolate. There doesnt really need to be another reason.

Chocolate with cherries and pistachios.... red and green for christmas get it? And chocolate for... well, chocolate. There doesn't really need to be another reason.

 

Merry Christmas stocking! A corndog, just what you wanted.

Merry Christmas stocking! A corndog, just what you wanted.

 

I know its not very Christmassy, but you have to give the woman props for follow through.

I know it's not very Christmassy, but you have to give the woman props for follow through.

hahahahhahahhaaha

 

This is the problem with cats. No, I wont be going on the lake with you and the dog. Oh fine, but only if you bring my chair.

This is the problem with cats. 'No, I won't be going on the lake with you and the dog. Oh fine, but only if you bring my chair'.

 

get tied (tyed) up and sleep in the closet? who ISN'T looking for that in a relationship?

get tied (tyed) up and sleep in the closet? who ISN'T looking for that in a relationship?

 

 

Her name is Mistletoe and shes three months old. Ozabobododo.

Her name is Mistletoe and she's three months old. Ozabobododo.

insert foot in mouth

Saturday, December 27th, 2008

I am an idiot. Years and years ago, a wonderful friend of mind told me a story about a former love interest of hers. I had just met her and appreciated the story, but clearly didn’t focus on specific details. Like, say, the name. Twice previous to tonight I have brought up said story at inopportune times. I will not elucidate on the details because that would likely be a third gaff, but suffice to say that I both looked and felt stupid. How did I feel, you ask? Well, pretend for a moment you brought up the ex-husband of a friend while she was delivering her new baby. And her new husband was in the room. And the baby may in fact belong to the ex, but the new husband doesn’t know. That is CLEARLY not what happened, but I’m trying to give a sense of the embarrasment level.

Well… tonight I made it worse. Yay me. Imagine adding ‘hey that ex hubby of yours was hot, is he seeing anyone?’ Again, NOT what I did, but roughly the blush level.  Suffice to say I am currently bright red and considering changing my name and moving to Illinois.

you guys know how to pole vault?

Thursday, December 25th, 2008

It’s Christmas.  I am not in Portland as planned, due to the 100 year storm they’re currently experiencing. Instead, I’m at home.  Fortunately, my brother  and I are bonding via telephone and the Tremors drinking game.  So far, the rules are:

Drink every time they say ‘plan’.

Drink the first time Reba McEntire shows up.

Drink  every time we notice phrasing is different from the recorded TBS version we grew up on.

That’s it so far. If you’ve seen Tremors, you know that even though we’re 14 minutes in we’ve had four drinks.  Sam is drinking beer (he’ll tell you more) and I’m drinking hot chocolate with Cointreau.  Don’t judge, he’s in Oregon and I’m in CO – the liquor stores are closed here and they don’t sell beer in the grocery stores.  My alcohol stores consist of those liqueurs required to bake, so it was HC with Cointreau or cream soda with Kahlua. Ew. 

At this moment we’re disussing whether or not we’d react like the highway workers. In Tremors, Earl and Val find a head of a friend of thiers in a hole in the ground.  Driving back towards town to warn everyone, they pass some highway workers and pause long enough to holler ‘there’s a serial killer running around cutting people’s heads off!’ 

*we just discovered we were the frightened of the same thing in our house growing up and now we’re both scared. We’re awesome.

So back to the highway workers – if someone you didn’t know drove by and told you that in desert, what would you do? In the desert, you can see people coming. I would probably do what they did. I would not believe him, cause a) I could see someone coming and b) it’s more likely that the guy in the truck is crazy than that there’s a serial killer cutting people’s heads off.  Sam said he’d go with it, because he’d rather live and feel stupid than die and be right. He wins this one.

Walter just bought the head/tongue of the first tremor and is charging people $20 to take a picture with it. That’s capitalism right there.

Is there anything creepier than the fence posts popping down one by one? You know something is chasing you UNDER THE GODDAMN ground and you can see how close it’s getting.  Unseen but perceivable danger, man.  Scary shit.

Plan! Oh, twice. Wait, three times. Huh, maybe I should have put less Cointreau in here. And Sam should be drinking less beer, we’re getting very philosphical.  We’re discussing whether or not we’d die to save 100 people that we never met in another country.  This is intense.  Back to Tremors.

Awww Rhonda and Val just woke up on a rock with thier heads on each others shoulders.  She’s like 5’3″/115 – she would NEVER be in a movie now.  I love Rhonda. Wait, can two people have thier heads on each others shoulders simulataneously? Is that even possible? I’m kinda thinking not but that’s the way I remember it so I’m going with it. 

What kind of stupid dummy not-smart unintelligent…  I can’t think of any more ways to say that but you get the point… climbs into a TIRE to escape from an underground monster? When sitting in a tire, how far is your ass off the ground, about six inches? Does it seem like an underground monster with multiple tongues that have already grabbed a car axle cannot reach up that far?

We just realized that the fashion in this movie is perfect.  Since it’s set in a desert town with people who are already ‘off the grid’, the fashion is believable to this day – we’re talking jeans and button up shirts.

Why was Walters nose already bleeding, huh? He got bit on the lower legs and somehow his nose immediately started to bleed. Low blood pressure… would that do it? High blood pressure? Was Walter a hemophiliac? 

Annnnddddd my DVD player just crapped out. I need a new one, I’ve asked for one for my birthday, but at the moment my old lame one is ruining my Christmas drinking game with my brother. Lame. Earl and Val are now permanently stuck on the roof with Rhonda on the water tower.  

I’m going to let Sam quote the remainder of the movie for me, but I think this post is effectively over. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Sunday Best

Sunday, December 21st, 2008

    Merry Christmas to me!

Merry Christmas to me!

There is absolutely no way this is a real sign. Unless I am just physically incapable of seeing past the dirtiness – but WHAT could this represent?

 

 

This is NOT a good idea. This person is either the worlds biggest optimist or an idiot. Or a hermit, I suppose...
This is NOT a good idea. This person is either the worlds biggest optimist or an idiot. Or a hermit, I suppose…
Im buying one for everyone and two for me!
I’m buying one for everyone and two for me!
Im a level 5 vegan - I dont eat anything that casts a shadow.

I'm a level 5 vegan - I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

Cheap. Ass. Motherfucker. Just say no, sweetie.

Cheap. Ass. Motherfucker. Just say no, sweetie.