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You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for December, 2008

Excuse me, is this 2%?

Friday, December 19th, 2008

*This post is part of a ‘blog off’ between my brother and I. Why, you ask? He said “Em, post a new blog already”. I said “about what”. He said “I’m writing about coffee”. And the blog off was born. He posted the link to this site at the top of his, but you’re going to have to read to the bottom of mine before I let you make that jump. Sorry, dems the breaks.


There are many things to be said for working at a small company.  At my last job, I could indentify 9 out of 10 people by name. I’m not implying that small companies are better, of course – I have made the jump to a big ship (is that a viable metaphor?). My new employer is public vs. private, 25 times the size, and has regular layoffs.  But there is one way that my new place beats the old one, hands down, no holds barred.

Ready? Two words: onsite Starbucks. Two of them, actually.

I know some people hate Starbucks. I have no idea what their problem is. I think they relate it to hating Walmart, but Starbucks is not the Walmart of coffee. Starbucks is the Target of coffee. And everyone loves Target – therefore, people who hate Starbucks are stupid. I know, that’s saying a lot, but if they’re entitled to their opinion I’m entitled to mine.

That being said, here are some things that I’ve learned when I have a Starbucks available to meet my every whim.

1)      People order drinks that are like them. Like, you know how people say that after a while you start to look like your dog? This afternoon I popped down for an afternoon beverage with two new friends. One, who could not put down his blackberry or focus on the conversation, ordered a small drip with a shot of espresso. The other, who is tall and laid back and spends as far as I can tell roughly half his day on Facebook (yeah I know, how would I know if I weren’t there too), ordered a tall chai.

It’s possible that I’m reading too much into this, of course, but there are other examples. A woman who clearly loves both her jewelry and her carbohydrates is ordering a large caramel vanilla latte with whipped cream every time I see her.  An intern I know gets a large drip and pours in a ‘jakfruit powershot’ that is sold on the counter, and every time I see him he’s pointing a gun finger at someone like he’s a 70s swinger.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure this is actually a very good indicator of personality. It will only work on people who have easy access to a coffee shop though, so it’s not for beginners or occasional caffeinators – consider yourself warned.


2)      Coffee is now what smoking used to be. We use it to bond, to take much needed breaks, and to feed an addiction. Although you never know, Snus might be huge.


3)      There is a very clear line between enough coffee and too much coffee.  That line is somewhere between throwing together a kickass powerpoint in a half hour, and blabbing endlessly at double speed about what you did last weekend to anyone who will listen.


4)      There are people who seriously do not drink coffee, but apparently not a single one of them works here. Look at the graph – in my age group, less than half of us drink coffee. What? Is it possible that NONE of those people work here?


5) I drink too much coffee.


Now that you’ve read my thoughts on coffee, why don’t you go check out what the tiniest sprinter has to say?

Oh oh, I really wanted that thing

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Saturday, August 4, 2008

The ‘I’m a PC commercials’ give me goosebumps. The mac commercials were starting to strike me as so.. smug, kinda. You know? The PC has progressed from this sorta goofy guy you could laugh at and relate to to this ridiculous, trick playing, fake crown wearing, pizza box hiding…. I could go on but the point is they’ve crossed the line. I no longer support the commercials.
And in as much as I love my iPhone (her name is Baby), I’m a little bummed at Apple.  Therefore, the PC commercials make me smile awfully big. Cause, you know, I’m a PC.

Oh goody… ice cream

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Americans eat, on average, 24 quarts of ice cream a year.

Pause for thought. Not pints – we’re not talking the Ben & Jerry’s sized ice cream.  Quarts.  That would be 96 CUPS a year.  Cups of ice cream.  That’s almost two a week.

Who is eating all that ice cream? Two cups a week? We’re a nation on a diet! We don’t like sugar or fat or carbs… and yet somehow everyone you know is secretly eating two cups (4 servings) of ice cream a week.  And I don’t eat ice cream (as a general rule, I prefer my dessert to be flour and butter based), so someone is eating mine.  And I have two friends who are lactose intolerant, and my brother is a vegan.. you see where I’m going with this. Who, seriously, is eating all that ice cream?

Anyway, it turns out that Haagen-Daz and Ben & Jerry’s are the two most successful premium ice cream companies in the US. They’ve basically built their brands around appealing to two entirely different market segments. Haagan-Daz is for yuppies and Ben & Jerry’s is for hippies. I want to be a Ben & Jerry’s girl, I do, and when do I buy ice cream I never even CONSIDER Haagen-Daz. Does that somehow mean that I have escaped yuppiedom, despite my fairly convincing exterior portrayal? Is my Nederland background enough to ground me in the world of those grassroots ice cream makers?

Also, does the fact that Haagen-Daz is now Nestle and Ben & Jerry’s is Unilever (yes, who makes Dove and Axe and Bertolli and Wishbone and Slim-Fast… hmm that’s kinda funny) change anything?  Ice cream philosophy.  Beats the hell outta that whole actual philosophy thing.

Didn't jump! Took a tiny step, and there conclusions were

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Things that would suck:
♠Being an aspiring actress and getting a lead role in a movie, only to discover after the movie is released that it inadvertantly offends a major religion that you personally have no problem with.
♣Sending a mass email to friends and family telling them about some interesting development in your life, but accidentally mistyping one address and it going to a local DJ, who proceeds to read your email on the radio and mock you.
♥Becoming a werewolf.
♦Falling in love with someone rich and getting married and purchasing a nice big house and a new car then discovering he’s actually a polygamist, then getting sued by his other wives for your house and car.
♠Confronting a friend of yours who you think is a compulsive gambler, telling her you know what she’s going through because you were there too, and then finding out that she’s actually a necrophiliac and thinks thats what you were talking about.
♣Accidentally kicking your phone while in the throes of passion and speed dialing your parents.This, in case anyone is wondering, is the only one that has happened to me and it was his parents, not mine. You know, his mom never warmed up to me….

Things that would be awesome:
♥Going on a diet and finding out that when your friends said you had a pretty face they weren’t lying, and becoming a famous model because of your gorgeous bone structure.
♦Going to the Humane Society and adopting an adorable puppy, then getting in the car with her and having her say ‘hi! thank you so much for taking me outta there, we’re going to have so much to talk about! but now, I have to pee’.
♠Getting arrested and tried for something you had nothing to do with, then being found innocent and getting two hundred thousand dollars for your pain and suffering and having lots of hilarious jail stories to tell for the rest of your life.
♣Being George Clooney’s bartender.
♥Being a werewolf and coming to terms with it, then falling in love and finding out your new boyfriend is also a werewolf and is completely up for some crazy werewolf lovemaking.
♦Struggling with your hypochondria and taking one last visit to your doc before going cold turkey, then finding out that you have a mysterious illness that is totally curable and will now be named after you, then being invited on many many talk shows to discuss the aforementioned illness.

Normal things that make me happy:
Strawberries and foxes.
White paint.
Robert B. Parker.
Monkey slippers.

Birthday love

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

fall-08-013Friday, April 4, 2008

What is it about birthdays? I know people who don’t even want to acknowledge them, people like me who spend a month plus milking them, and everyone in between.

And then there’s my dog.  She has no idea there is something special about today. As far as she’s concerned, she got to come to my office – hey that’s cool, she gets to go to the mountains tonight – hey that’s cool, she’ll prolly get some extra cookies – hey thats WAY cool…. but she has no idea why.

I’m sure there’s a deeper message in there somewhere, but I don’t know what it is. I do know that it makes me happy to make her happy.

Also sunshine and driving around during the day and being together – that makes both of us happy.  In general this is a very good day.