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You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for January, 2009

welcome to the north west

Friday, January 30th, 2009

I’m in sunny Portland! Minus the sunny, of course. It’s been a lovely trip thus far.

-Of course I was seated next to the obligatory enormous man on my flight. He was very sweet. When I apologized for squeezing past him with my bags etc, he said “at least you’re not my size!” I wasn’t really sure what to say to that.

-Was personally picked up at the airport by the tiniest sprinter! In attempting to leave the parking lot, we were detained because we had apparently left our paid parking stub in the machine. To verify that we had in fact paid our three dollars, the parking lot police:
•Closed our lane
•Took a description of us including which terminal we’d paid at, what we were wearing, who was standing where, what denomination of bill we used, and how long it had taken us to get from the terminal to the exit.
(The best part was watching the gatekeeper try to describe us over his walkytalky while we could hear him. He so clearly wanted to say “two tiny adorable people” but wasn’t sure how we’d react. He was also thrown by Sam’s 34 degree wardrobe choice of a tee, a scarf that I made him, and tiny blue corduroys.)
•Located our ticket.
•Ran through the security video.
•Called the gatekeeper over to verify it was in fact us (a step that would have been unneccesary if he’d described us properly).
This netted PDX $3. That we’d already paid. Awesome.

-Paradox Cafe. Mmmm. Jalepeno corn cake.

-I am Louis’s favorite person.

-Whiskey and Wii.

That was just the first few hours. Now we’re watching Eagle vs. Shark.

Best. Vacation. Ever.

to her cheshire smile I'll stand on file

Wednesday, January 28th, 2009

Tomorrow I leave for Portland to visit the tiniest sprinter. I am VERY excited but also nervous, which will bring me in a round about way to the topic of this post.

First, why am I nervous? Well, let’s just say I do not fly particularly well. I don’t scream or faint or require Valium, at least not to date, but I’m one of the white knuckle deep breath folks. The most pleasant flights that I’ve had have been those where I’m accompanied by a friend, particularly a friend of the hand-holding and hair-stroking (see: male) variety.

So today, instead of writing about the reasons I’m not happy when miles above the ground in a big metal tube…. I’m going to list things that are better when you have someone to hold your hand.

1. Anything involving doctors, hospitals, or needles. 

2. Waiting for news of a life changing event.

3. Walking to get breakfast on a Sunday morning.

4. Fighting through a crowd at a baseball game.

5. Driving somewhere far away.

6. Sleeping.  If you’re not a sleeping hand-holder you probably aren’t on board with this, but in my opinion it’s the perfect amount of unintrusive contact.

7. Sitting on a park bench in the sunshine.

8. Watching a romantic movie in the movie theater.

9. Riding a Ferris Wheel at night.

10. And of course, waiting to get on a flight, sitting on a plane waiting to take off, taking off, flying, waiting to land, and landing.

Sunday Best

Sunday, January 25th, 2009

We have a First Couple who fist bumps. God bless America.    

We have a First Couple who fist bumps. God bless America.

One of the princes is single! Ok, its not the cute one, but women everywhere are wondering what it would be like to be addressed as Princess. Or maybe thats just me.

One of the princes is single! Ok, it's not the cute one, but women everywhere are wondering what it would be like to be addressed as 'Princess'. Or maybe that's just me.

The HILARIOUS alterations of Janis Joplins wiki page after the 30 Rock episode where they did the same thing. Click here for a screen shot of the page before wikipedia shut it down and fixed it.

The HILARIOUS alterations of Janis Joplin's wiki page after the 30 Rock episode where they did the same thing. Bet Janis thought it was funny too, she seems like a lady with a sense of humor.


A screenshot of the JJ wiki page before wikipedia shut it down and fixed it. Click for larger image.

A screenshot of the JJ wiki page before wikipedia shut it down and fixed it. Click for larger image.

Thank you for participating in our drill. Had this been a real emergency, y'all would have been EATEN.

Sunday, January 25th, 2009

Today is a snowy Sunday and I am firmly entrenched in home life. It has been a fairly miserable week for me, despite the birthday celebrations it started with. 

The miserableness was pretty much entirely my fault.  Y’all may have heard of the whole peanut butter thing that’s goin on, huh? Yeah, me too. Which did not in fact stop me from partaking in peanut butter chicken at an ‘international buffet’ after my indoor skydiving experience.  

Tell me its not a little tempting looking.

Tell me it's not a little tempting looking.

In my defense:

a) It looked yummy.  And honestly, it still does – since I ate it a day and a half before it kicked in, I’m having a hard time associating it with my pain and suffering. What I AM associating is ‘puppy chow’, that chex mix stuff. It was the last thing I ate before… you know, and I can’t even think about it without getting a little naseous.

b) I figured everyone had heard about the damn recall! Why, oh why, was a restaurant not aware? Were they just too cheap to toss it? Is it possible the recall didn’t cover whatever peanut butter they were using (but clearly should have)?

Still, wiser judgement should have dictated that I forgo the chicken. And my Sunday night – Thursday morning will surely haunt me the next time I’m faced with a similar decision. Those of you who have had salmonella poisoning know what I’m talking about. Those of you who haven’t… count your lucky stars.


Salmonella. EW.

Salmonella. EW.

speaking of skinny love

Sunday, January 18th, 2009


Model altered to appear 32 kg (70.4 lb)

Model altered to appear 32 kg (70.4 lb)

Ivonne Thein took pictures of models then used a computer to alter them so that they would appear as if they weighed 32 kilos. Her inspiration for this work of art was the ‘Pro-Ana‘ movement. I.e. in favor of anorexia, or websites and support groups devoted to the “lifestyle choice” that should be respected by doctors and family.

These pics are crazy. I can’t stop looking. I can only be glad these are digitally altered, if they were real women I would wonder if they at LEAST donated the organs they had removed. And possibly their calf and forearm muscles, if those are donatable.

70-lb-model-2These are direct quotes from pro-ana websites:

“Reward yourself, don’t punish. Punishment is not effective and will do more emotional harm than physical good. Calculate how much money you’re saving by not eating and add this up until you have enough to buy something you like (but not food). Or, put a penny (dollar, marble) in a jar for every small goal you keep and treat yourself with something (not food) once you reach a certain amount. Remember that these rewards will last longer and give more pleasure than food you would just eat, process, and discard. ”

“Food associations. Find something that makes you feel vaguely ill or unpleasant, get a picture of it, and put the picture beside your food. Switch pictures frequently and make sure to look at the pictures while you eat. After a while you may began to associate food itself with unpleasantness, which will make you less inclined to eat. ”

“Don’t raise suspicions. Once people realize what you’re doing, you’ll be watched and monitored and suspected. Start hiding your habits and practices before anyone even sees them. It’s much easier to keep people clueless than it is to fool people who know something’s going on. ”

Um… are you kidding me with this? I would like to form an intelligent retort, but I’m a little too pissed to do anything but growl (trick I learned from my pups).