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emmanation

You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for March, 2009

fame – I'm gonna live forever

Monday, March 30th, 2009

So I seem to have developed a regular readership of sorts. I’m not going to show off (the tiniest sprinter might get sad), but I seem to have quite a few people who check in on me at least every couple of days. That gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, so if you’re one of those people – MUAH to you.

I also seem to have folks who stumble onto me while looking for something entirely different, and that’s what I’d like to write about today. Recently the search terms that have been showing up fall into a few distinct categories.

Hair

Quite a few in the theme of  ‘short women’s hairstyles’. I also got:

plus size models of short hair styles (I’m not sure where this came from, but wear it proudly, honey)

short hair styles for women over 40 (did I say something that made me sound plus-size and over 40? I’m scrolling and I don’t see anything….)

appropriate middle aged cute hair do (This is just getting insulting)

Celebrities

You may remember my short lived inappropriate obsession with breasts – you can imagine what kind of searches those turned up. Also, I talked about Kara Dioguardi a couple of times, and several other celebs have receieved a passing mention. More amusingly, there’s also:

steve gadd 50 ways (I have no idea what that means. Who is Steve Gadd? I’m just assuming he’s famous, otherwise why would someone google him?)

mckay hatch. masturbates (This is the kid from the no cussing club! Maybe it’s just me, but I would think that someone who found cussing offensive would also be against masturbation.)

The inevitable lyrics quotes

I wonder if it makes people sad when they look for Jenny Lewis lyrics and end up here. I like to think they get all excited and jump up and down, personally. What, it could happen.

There are several more categories, but here’s the one you really care about.

Weird

little old ladies have the best clothes

weird attractiveness

about female masturbation (do I really talk about masturbation a lot? I dont feel like I do. I’ll try to keep that in check in the future.)

superwoman all naked (I understand what this person was looking for – what I’m a little confused about is how he (or she, I spose) ended up here. Also, why he felt it was necessary to specify ALL. Doesn’t naked sorta mean… naked? Can you be partially naked? Did he search ‘superwoman naked’ and find pictures of her with her boots still on or something?)

And (drumroll please) my personal favorite….

mongolia fuck

Hahahhahaha. Sorry about that, Mongolia.

thoughts while watching 88 Minutes

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

  1. Who are these little girls and why does this look like it’s turning into one of the Japanese horror movie remakes?
  2. OH! There’s… um… De Niro? Pacino? What is my damage that I can’t remember which is which? Hold on. Ok I googled him, it’s Pacino.  I’ll never forget again (for the next ten minutes).

    Him at the opening. He looks like crap huh? I guess you have that option as a famous movie star. Even if lil girls like me cant remember which famous movie star you are.

    Pacino at the 88 Minutes opening. He looks like crap huh? I guess you have that option as a famous movie star. Even if lil girls like me can't remember which famous movie star you are.

  3. Hmm. Mysterious man on motorcycle staring at Pacino’s one night stand through the window. Betting he’ll be a recurring character.
  4. Ryan from the OC! Hey baby, how you doin?
  5. Ok, Pacino has 88 minutes to live. Apparently this is going real time at this point. I always hated that about 24, so I’m not sure why I’m signing up for 88 minutes of it… it seems so unrealistic. Like in every given minute something interesting is happening? Bullshit. I have a pretty interesting life and a whole bunch of my minutes are boring. Of course I’m watching movies alone on a Sunday night.. but it’s been a big weekend. And blogging IS interesting, damn it.
  6. Whatsername Sobieski is in this too. As is that red headed chick. I had no idea Pacino was of the caliber that put him in movies with a bunch of midlevel midtwenties starlets. I’m a little concerned for him.
  7. It’s motorcycle guy again!! I called it. I rock.
  8. “Pull out my risk assessment file. Anyone rating over an 8, fax to my apartment.” Why don’t I have a risk assessment file? What if I need to know who is a risk to my health? I’m starting one right now. First addition – evil Maida. Sometimes she’s good, but when she’s bad she comes within a few seconds of poking out my eyes with her puppy paws.
  9. Uh oh. Something happened that just implied Ryan (Mike in this movie) is the bad guy. That’s not acceptable. He’s still my honeybunny. Whatever it was didn’t make sense to me, otherwise I’d explain it. Promise.
  10. Al Pacino is taking this very calmly. If someone was counting down the minutes remaining in my life I would not be all straight-face-sarcastic. I would be all screaming-runnynose-crying-‘i love you man’ing.
  11. Whaaa? Two motorcycle men?
  12. DUDE. Do NOT ignore it when your trusty assistant calls you and says she has something important to talk to you about. It will inevitably be plot-critical.
  13. Hmm. I’m getting a little worked up over a silly movie.
  14. Al just TOTALLY used the exploding car as an excuse to feel up Alicia Witt. See?

    Trust me, theres a lot of moving around and caressing and... stuff.

    Trust me, there's a lot of moving around and caressing and... stuff. But check out the hand placement.

  15. Some super slow flashback thingy just happened where he saw a whole bunch of women in sepia tones. Does that mean he figured something out? I’m so confused. This movie sucks.
  16. The chick he slept with the night before was an escort? Who didn’t demand payment? Weak ass escort, if you ask me.
  17. Wait, what? WTF is going on? I’m so over this movie. My plan was to go to 20 though, so I’ll have to get a few more comments out of it. Or come up with interesting things from my brain, I guess….
  18. Ooohhh girl on girl lovin with Leelee Sobieski and Amy Brenneman. Private Practice will never look the same. Ok, probably it will, since I’m going to forget this movie roughly fifteen seconds after turning the television off.
  19. Alicia Witt just confessed. But the blond chick confessed first. And Leelee Sobieski is on his most risky list. And Ryan (Mike) is waiting for him in his office. Is it a ginormous conspiracy? Oh. Nope.
  20. Annnnd…. that’s 107 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Yep, even the titled sucked.  Still, happy Sunday!

Sunday Best

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

There is now a video game about losing your virginity. Two women designed it, and it involves choosing an outfit thats easy to take off, correctly shaving your legs, removing the garlic from your dinner, and not falling off the bed. Awesome.

There is now a video game about losing your virginity. Two women designed it, and it involves choosing an outfit that's easy to take off, correctly shaving your legs, removing the garlic from your dinner, and not falling off the bed. Awesome.

Yeah - this is John Mayer smelling some underwear. That appears to be mens. More power to him - splains why he doesnt think Jennifer Aniston is pretty.

Yeah - this is John Mayer smelling swim trunks that were thrown onstage for him. Men's trunks. More power to him - splains why he doesn't think Jennifer Aniston is pretty.

Just, she purdy. I dig her hat. If I were famous this is exactly the kind of hat I would wear.

Just, she purdy. I dig her hat. If I were famous this is exactly the kind of hat I would wear.

Jezebel’s HILARIOUS take on the recent Men’s Health article Sure Signs She’s Interested:

“In order to tell if a woman wants you, Men’s Health style, you should stroll up to her and ask her the time. If she says, “It’s time you get a watch, dude” you stare at her intensely as she attempts to walk away. Then add some flair to your creepy stare with a big ol’ wink. When she laughs at your weirdness, look her body up and down. That will make her feel comfortable and not at all freaked out. Then tell her you like her style. If she still doesn’t want to sleep with you, have her make a fake gun to point at your face. She’ll fall for you in no time, bro. Because what woman doesn’t want a winking, fake-gun toting, creepy staring, awkwardly complimenting, guy who looks her body up and down and doesn’t wear his own watch? I mean, really.”

No jokes. This is just fabulous.

No jokes. This is just fabulous.

And finally - 18 inches of snow in my front yard. This is mid-snow, when the puppies were still able to brave it.

And finally - 18 inches of snow in my front yard. This is mid-snow, when the puppies were still able to brave it.

Rabbit fur coat

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

Snow day! Puppies up to their ears in snow, an ANTM, mulled wine, a few episodes of Dollhouse.. Good day.

And I keep bleeding

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

I like to think that I’m a pretty girl. I don’t know if that’s vain or bigheaded or what – but I’m not going to pretend that I don’t. I mean, I know I have my moments (recently awoken from a nap, for example) that I’m not exactly hot. And I know that my whole teeny dark haired look doesn’t do it for a lot of men – I’m not exactly a playboy bunny. None the less, I am generally pleased when I look in the mirror.

For the past several months, that belief has been underlined by… well, by treatment that I receive. I have no sugar daddies, no one is giving me cars or diamonds, but I sometimes get free drinks at bars and appreciative looks while out and about. I’ve even (as recently as last week) been asked out by strangers.

That seems to be over.

Because I cut my hair.

Admittedly, I’m using a sample size of roughly 20 hours. And also admittedly, as long as one particular guy thinks I’m cute, I couldn’t give a flying fuck what the rest of them think.

But still. It’s just hair, people. A coworker actually just stood in my office and told me that he prefers women with long hair, so he wouldn’t comment on mine. Seriously? And my coffee shop buddy who regularly picks up my tab  barely even looked at me. <sigh> Good thing I still think I’m cute.

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