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You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for April, 2009

I started my book

Saturday, April 11th, 2009

Fall Line.

There’s a recipe in there that’s pretty delicious, but hopefully it will be interesting all on it’s own.

I am holding half an acre

Friday, April 10th, 2009

Have you guys seen this? The Art of Manliness is my new favorite place to work on my ‘laugh out loud’ goal (which I’m doing exceptionally well on, btw). I’m adding it to my blogroll as soon as I finish this post, so you’ll always know where to find it. I have already learned so much!  Check it out:

  • I now know how whisky is made, as well as how to drink it and what kind to buy. AND lest you think I just misspelled whisky – I didn’t.  Apparently only losers (i.e. Americans and the Irish) spell it with an e.  There’s a poem about it and everything.

A Scotsman who spells Whisky with a n ‘e’, should be hand cuffed and thrown head first in the Dee,

In the USA and Ireland, it’s spelt with an ‘e’ but in Scotland it’s real ‘Whisky’.

So if you see Whisky and it has an ‘e’, only take it, if you get it for free!

For the name is not the same and it never will be, a dram is only a real dram, from a bottle of ‘Scotch Whisky’.

  • I could dress like someone from Bonnie and Clyde for under $20! Ok, more Clyde than Bonnie, which isn’t really my thing. I could dress up someone ELSE like Clyde for under $20! Heeheehee – evil plans brewing.

  • I learned how to become a private investigator. My loyal readers (to you I say MUAH) know that I have a whole other post on this topic and why I would be awesome at it. This article just confirms it. I would still in no way be manly, though.
  • I could buy a motorcycle with the best of em. Of course, if I bought anything larger than a 250cc I would likely fall over at a stoplight and never get back up. Having someone help you pick up your wheels is the very antithesis of manliness.

And there’s more! Here are just a few of the articles I haven’t read but fully intend to:

Clip the Tip? Point/Counterpoint on Male Circumcision (Perfect conversation for all those uncomfortable work happy hours with my completely male team.)

Is Manliness Obsolete? (God I hope not, not when I just found out about it!)

How to End a Relationship Like a Man (This will mostly be for entertainment, since the way women end relationships is mostly to cry a lot and then run away. Right?)

I leave you with this, dear readers. The manliest sea shanty ever.


I will run as fast as I can to the middle of nowhere

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

I’m sick. Again. I have the immune system of a four year old who has lived in a bubble her whole life.

Ok, fine. Probably not that bad. If that were the case, I would be dead right about now. However, in all seriousness, it’s like any germ that can stick on me does. Seriously. I have strep throat this time around, just fyi.

So…. I’m surveying several published and rumored ways to bolster my immune system.

  • I of course have to start with the tiniest sprinter, who suggests that I ‘get dirtier’. By that he apparently means wash myself less and abandon cleaning products in my house all together. I love him and enjoy visiting him at his house, so I won’t write out what assorted wipes I’ll be packing for my next visit. Rest assured there will be plenty. And possibly latex gloves and a mask of some kind.
  • How about vitamins? I take a multi-vitamin, as all 28 year old women should, but there must be more I can do. This sounds doable at first glance- take echinacea, cat’s claw, goldenseal, grapefruit seed extract, liquorice (I don’t know if that’s licorice, liquor, or some seriously nasty combo of the two), maitake…. ok I don’t know what most of these are. Maybe this one isn’t for me either.
  • Oh shit! I just realized what licorice liquor would be – ouzo! Man I hate that stuff. I brought a bottle back from Turkey where they call it raki. I think I only used it as part of horrible horrible drinking games that inevitably ended in someone retiring to the garage to press their faces to the concrete and waking up covered in oil and ants. Yeah, it’s that good. If you’ve never had it, it’s clear in the bottle and then turns white when you mix it with water. Reactions like that are inappropriate for liquors.

  • Speaking of ouzo, according to my friend Mark, alcohol should be my go-to cure here. Not a regular dosage, but a warfare approach. His technique is to whip out the whiskey when he feels a cold coming on and pit them against each other. According to him, the headache the next day is infinitely preferable to the days of sniffles and soreness. I cannot find any backing for this theory, even in the great wide internet, so I’m shelving this one.
  • Sex. Yep, apparently having sex once or twice a week boosts some … something… by 30% as compared to being abstintent. I’m fully on board until this part: “But people who had very frequent sex-three times a week or more-had lower IgA levels than the abstainers.”  Huh. What’s the fun in that?

My personal brass ring is apparently that holy of holies: reduce stress. I could start copying links to prestigious, intelligent, reputable (is that redundant with prestigious?) sources, but that would be dumb, since everyone already knows that. Unfortunately, no one tells you how. I have a few ideas… I’ll think about them when I feel better.

hilarity ensues

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

My happiness project hasn’t been going so well lately – mostly cause I’ve been ignoring it, I suspect. But happiness is like a lil flower… it needs tending to grow. Hahahahhahaha.



Sorry, I know that isn’t particularly funny. I’m not having a great day, honestly. My head hurts, I’m this strange combination of overworked and bored, and I’m having some personal life … issues. But this blog isn’t about me, damn it, it’s about – um – me.

SO. What with it being VERY close to the first of April, I’m renewing my dedication to this whole happiness project thing. Full force, not all half assed like before.

According to the awesome Gretchen Rubin, each month should have a happiness resolution of some kind, and each resolution should be broken down into several things that you make sure to do each day.  For me, coming up with that kind of thing does NOT help my happiness, so I’m just going to steal one of her months.  Because today I’m very very cranky, I’m going to go with her November. Resolution? Laugh Out Loud – perfect offset to crankiness.

Yep, this is how cranky I am. I havent twittered and have barely facebooked at all today.

Yep, this is how cranky I am. I have barely tweeted and facebooked at ALL. Seriously. If you know me, you're concerned right now.

So, my April.  Every day in April, with a goal towards Laughing Out Loud, I will:

  • Tell the truth -Not on Gretchen’s, but I’ve been slacking on the whole radical honesty thing and I kind of liked it while I was doing it.-
  • Laugh out loud drr.-
  • Find an area of refuge -Does under my covers count? Cause I could so be happy there right now.-
  • Say yes, agree, applaud Ok, I like this one. See, I’m starting to feel happier already.-
  • Look for ways to help -Wow, this is going to make me an awesome person to be around.-
  • Don’t talk about aggravations -So far… failure.-
  • Be easy to please -K.-
  • Crank up my energy -Am I allowed to use stimulants, you think?-
  • Speak with good cheer -Generally do. Am sometimes seething behind. Will attempt to knock that off.-

Ok. This is a wonderful idea. I’m going to get started right now. All I need is a joke to laugh at, someone to be nice to, someone to tell the truth to, and a place to hide.