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emmanation

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thoughts while watching Delicatessen

August 31st, 2009 by biscuit

This week’s movie is Delicatessen. From the director of Amelie, if the movie cover above is to be believed. If you’ve seen Amelie, you know it’s a charming French romp. If you haven’t seen Delicatessen, all you need to know is what I said to the boyfriend in the car Saturday – ‘it’s about a guy who cuts people up and feeds them to other people’. Sadly, I said that in front of his four year old nephew… I don’t recommend that, if you ever find yourself in that position. The look I got from his mother sort of implied that she was about to cut me up and serve me to someone. Seriously.

Anyway, on to the stream of Delicatessen-inspired-consciousness. Once you’re done with the awesomeness that is to follow, go check out what the tiniest sprinter, Dawn, and Andrew thought!

*I’m not sure they’ve actually posted their reviews yet, I’m just being proactive.

** I just found out Sam, Dawn, and Andrew watched together. I am feeling sad and left out. Does anyone in CO want to be in the movie club? Pleeez?

I love big French noses.

I love movies that look like they’re lit by firelight. It’s most frequently foreign movies, isn’t it? It’s all orange and dirty looking.

Hey, it’s squished face dude! He looks like a cartoon. What else has he been in?

Aww. Squishy squishsquishsquish.

Aww. Squishy squishsquishsquish.

CREEPY. WINDUP. MONKEY. That is no good, no good at all.

This is actually not the monkey from the movie.. but it came up when I googled wind up monkeys and I couldnt resist.

This is actually not the monkey from the movie.. but it came up when I googled 'wind up monkeys' and I couldn't resist.

Cigarette smoking children. You just know they’re gonna die. That’s what happens when little kids smoke cigarettes – I know cause my momma told me so.

Ah! They’re doing one of those ‘music made with regular repetitive noises’ sequences! I love these. The pace setter for this one happens to be a big fat French man having sex, and the climax is someone falling off a ladder while someone else’s cello string busts while someone else explodes a bicycle tire. Oh, and the fat man doing his thing. I love french films.

Quote: “I call you Julie because I like you.  I won’t rush you.” Um. Her name is Julie. Therefore, this sentence makes very little sense to me.It’s clear that this man is a bad man, though, so it must be a bad thing to say. I guess.

Aww, Julie is taking off her glasses for her date with squishy face guy. I totally do that every time I meet someone new and have to take off my contacts. I just walk around blind. Seriously.

“Robert is a pervert an ass-wipe, a panty-eater.” A panty eater? Really?

What is the problem with troglodytes? They can be very well adjusted. Just look at this picture.

Happy part-troglodyte family.

Happy part-troglodyte family.

Who knew monkeys and clowns could make for such fucked up dreams? Sounds like a fabulous birthday party, but ends up like this:

I'm going to have nightmares about this monkey chasing me with an axe, no question about it.

I'm going to have nightmares about this monkey chasing me with an axe, no question about it.

Well... at least the monkey took care of the clown!

Well... at least the monkey took care of the clown.

Folks, I don’t know where to go from here. I could continue this sort-of-distracted-yet-awesome review, or I could leave you with the image of a screaming clown with an axe in his head. Decisions, decisions…. and…..

I’m leaving you with the clown. Have fun, you cute kids.

Emmanation rating: Red velvet cake with black frosting. Delicious but is going to turn your insides a funny color.

3 Responses to “thoughts while watching Delicatessen”

  1. […] home. Instead, I watched a few episodes of Lost and went to sleep around 9 pm. I do believe that emmanation, tiniest sprinter, and dawn have posted their reviews. Head on over to read something more coherent […]

  2. samburglar says:

    a) plane tickets between portland and denver are pretty cheap, right? you’re gonna want to come out here to join us in person for the next club pick, i promise… do it. either that, or make tay watch movies with you!

    b) the monkey/village person toy is something i would like to own. badly.

    c) i think the main dude is a waterhead, so maybe we shouldn’t make fun of him.

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