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emmanation

You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for April, 2010

oh look

Friday, April 30th, 2010

Men think these women are ugly:

And by ‘these women’ I mean ‘these highly paid and successful professional models’. And by ‘men’ I mean …. I don’t really know what I mean.

Of course, if you follow through the comment string you also get this gem:

baxter45

Maybe Natalie Portman is actually all of those models. When she needs to act for a movie they all morph together to form her.

fauxromanou

Natalie Portman is a megazord.

armakaryk

The Natalie Portman Hypothesis: upon the overlay of faces from a statistically significant number of women all imperfection or variation will normalize to reveal the face of Natalie Portman. For Science!

How can you disagree with someone who recognizes that Natalie Portman is a megazord?

I do love me some Natalie Portman, but none of the lil-boys-who-think-models-are-ugly’s amalgams look like her (to me).

See?

This is all but the ones with glasses.

Not Miss Portman.

The average of some dude's favorite 15 models from the picture.

Very girl-next-door.

No info on how this one was made.

Doesn’t she look like the ‘racially ambiguous’ girl from the tampon commercial?
To summarize: the men who read on and comment on Reddit think models are ugly. They prefer smooshed together versions of lots of models.
They may or may not know any real women.

she comes out on Fridays every time

Friday, April 30th, 2010

Welcome to our new Friday segment: Overly Sensitive Emma!

Crockett is being all weird. Not speaking in tongues weird, just kind of off. Possible causes: work, his parents being in town, all his springtime house chores, scheduling upcoming trips, or the squirrels attacking his solar panels. The reason I don’t actually know the cause: I ask and he doesn’t tell me.  What I automatically assume is the cause: me.

Why do I do that? There is absolutely no good reason for me to think that, and yet last night in every dream of mine I was trying to get him to tell me what was going on. He wrote notes that I never got, he told other people in whispers, but he never told me.

This is (obviously) less about Crockett than it is about  me. My privacy threshold is…. well, I’m not actually sure where it is. My default state is ‘overshare’. Intellectually I understand that not everyone is the same way. I know people who share sparingly and only with those that they trust. I am not one of those people.

To be clear, I have a vault. There are secrets in my vault – but they mostly belong to other people.

The problem comes in when I find someone’s aversion to sharing personal. I’m willing to share every lil detail of my life, gosh darnit. As a matter of fact, you’d probably have to ask me very nicely if you wanted me to stop. Funny stuff, embarrassing stuff, stuff about getting dog poop on my hands, whatever. When other people aren’t willing to share such details, I feel like it’s because they don’t want me, specifically, to know.

Repeat after me: secrets are not rejection.

Crockett has excellent taste

Thursday, April 29th, 2010

Crockett has given me some amazing gifts in the year+ we’ve been together. For example, you may remember Angel Boy from Christmas?

Soon to be a tattoo?

Soon to be an emma tattoo.

Today, however, I want to entertain you with the story of the three necklaces he’s purchased me – all of which I love and not a single one of which he picked out.

1) My first and possibly favorite is the one of a kind naked lady holding a bottle of wine necklace. I wear this one 5 out of seven days, because it’s simple and silver and goes with everything. It was handmade by a woman in Boulder, and Crockett bought it for me at the Creek Fair when I realized it was made on a nickel from the year I was born and that it was a naked lady holding a bottle of wine. I am a lady, sometimes naked, and wine is my bff, so clearly the artist had me in mind when she got up in her welding or whatever technique she used to make an awesome necklace like this.

Not a great picture, but you get the point.

2) My darling bff-since-I-was-12-who-will-soon-be-guest-blogging-as-my-resident-mommyblogger Laura and I were shopping one day in the seriously dangerous Vie Vie Luxe in downtown Louisville. (I say dangerous because it is full of everything cute and priced just reasonably enough that you leave with arms full of things you’ve realized you can’t live without. Or maybe that’s just me.) I saw a necklace that I wanted OHSOMUCH. Laura told Crockett. Crockett purchased it for me. I wear it every day that red will be even vaguely acceptable with my outfit – usually along with #1.

I don't have a photo, and it too is one of a kind. Please adjust for my drawing skills in order to realize the awesome beauty of this necklace.

3) During the Boulder Beer Scavenger Hunt, I took $20 from Crockett in case of emergencies. One of the emergencies was apparently buying necklace #3. When I showed it to him, he said ‘you’re welcome’.

Big old hand painted flower pendant.

There you go. Crockett has excellent taste in art, and the genius to buy me jewelry that I pick out for myself. This way, I get to wear jewelry I love and feel close to him at the same time. Seriously, someone give the man a medal (and you know what? Let him pick it out).

Wednesday

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

big changes, people

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

I just submitted my application for grad school.

It went something like this:

Why do you want to come to graduate school?
I have worked really hard for seven years and will now TOTALLY appreciate the life of a student – way way more than I did before. That whole ‘youth is wasted on the young’ thing? College is totally wasted on undergrads.

Why should we let you in?
I am really smart. And also funny. AND also pretty.

What do you want to learn?
I want to learn all about computers so that I can then learn about brains.

Anything else?
Um… please pay me to be there? Kthnx.

This is foolproof. Grad school, here I come.