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dirty bird

May 28th, 2010 by biscuit

There’s this thing that I do that drives me insane when I notice myself doing it.

I pretend to be embarrassed about something and use that as an excuse to tellĀ peopleĀ about it, and in truth it’s almost always something I’m perversely proud of.

For example, at home? Washing things? Yeah, not so much. I mean, yes, I run the dishwasher and the washing machine, but that’s only for things that are (in the case of the kitchen) visibly dirty and not able to be cleaned with a rinse, or (in the case of laundry) visibly dirty in more than one spot and/or noticeably stinky.

This is a nasty habit, really, but I secretly feel a little superior to those people who ‘clean’ (scoff). I’m saving water! I’m not afraid of no germs! My jeans will last longer than your jeans, you washers!

There are other things too. My inability to keep a secret (although right now I have a doozy and the only reason I haven’t spilled is because the circle of people who care is limited and it would be easily traced back to me)(P.S. Dear Crockett, you already know so don’t worry) is legendary. That’s not a good trait to have, but deep down I feel that my if-it’s-really-a-secret-keep-it-to-yourself policy makes me more ‘authentic’ (not to be confused with ‘trustworthy’).

I can’t be the only person who does this, can I? If you have a dubious skill/habit/trait that you’re outwardly ashamed of but secretly proud of, tell me. Sing it out. Be loud, be proud – and if your trait happens to be that you never ever ever wash your bras, I am so with you.

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6 Responses to “dirty bird”

  1. Star says:

    Oh the shame. OK not really. I am a huge fan of rinsing dishes off and using them again. It’s only dirty if I can see crud on it or I know I used it to cut/hold raw meat. I have been known to blow my nose into a sock because it was closer and easier than getting keenex, and washable so I’m being green. I have a lot of other deeper darker ones but I will just tell you over our morning beverages.

  2. emmanation says:

    AhHAHAHAHA. I love the sock one, but I have to know – are you wearing the sock at the time?

  3. Star says:

    EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! No way. Due to my sever foot freak out affliction that would never be ok. It has to be clean. Usually from the basket of laundry that got washed but never folded, hung up, or put away.

  4. emmanation says:

    So basically you’re using a sock once as a handkerchief instead of wearing it. I no longer respect this as an earthsaving action.

  5. Star says:

    what if I then used the non soiled with snot side of said sock to say wipe up a spill, or clean the dust off of something else entirely? Because that has been known to happen as well. Also said snot sock has been known to become a dog toy (read: dogs like snot and take it and chew on it).

  6. emmanation says:

    Ah ha – in that case, totally acceptable.

    Also, dogs are gross. If I find one more pair of underwear with the insides chewed up I am going to leave a pair laying around with hot sauce in it. That’ll teach Maida.

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