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You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for May, 2011

Thing I noticed that you already probably knew

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

The most famous guest star in any hour long crime show is going to be the bad guy.

Recently proven by Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s turn as the hacker/murdered in an old episode of Numbers.

My aggression. It is passive.

Tuesday, May 24th, 2011

A good friend of mine has started seeing a career counselor.

Her theory is – yeah, it’s expensive, but at our age, it’s probably cheaper than starting the wrong career.

She ain’t wrong.

This morning I got a condescending email from another graduate student (who is like 23).

Now I’m wondering if a career counselor could help me find a career in which I never had to deal with anyone else. Ever.

That seems possible, right?

Now we can stop talking about it. Until next year.

Monday, May 23rd, 2011

People, I was scared of the rapture.

You can ask me why seventeen thousand times and I won’t be able to explain it. Crockett was flabbergasted – he wanted to talk about it and I wanted to stick my fingers in my ears and go LAA-LAA-LAA until he went away. He kept asking why it freaked me out. Did I believe it was going to happen? Was I scared that I would get raptured (fat chance of that happening – living in sin here, y’all) or that I wouldn’t? Was I frightened of the zombies that would chase us around afterwards?

My answer is – got me. I didn’t really believe that the devout were just going to disappear. I didn’t really believe that come yesterday, we’d all be living in some sort of Earth/Hell hybrid.

The idea of the end of the world makes me very uncomfortable. That’s the whole story.

Call me crazy.


Joe Vs. My Butt

Friday, May 20th, 2011

Crockett and I watched Joe vs. the Volcano last night. I haven’t seen it in years and had a desire to revisit it.

This is how I remember it:

Yeah, no. This is how it actually went:


Most depressing movie ever.


Important Bridesmaids shit

Wednesday, May 18th, 2011

The movie, not actual bridesmaids. Everyone I know is either past the wedding stage or not yet in the wedding stage, so there are currently no actual bridesmaids in my life.

The movie.

First, let’s make it clear that – for people who care about this sort of thing – this was an important movie. This movie was a major studio (Universal) dipping its toe into the idea that a comedy that is about and carried by women can be successful. Don’t believe me? Go read the many articles published over the last year that quote writers and directors who have pitched female-driven scripts and projects and who have been told ‘let’s see how Bridesmaids does, first’.

The fact that it did do well its opening weekend (and based on the half-full theater I experienced today at a 1 pm Wednesday showing, I suspect it will continue to do well) is excellent news. It means that the next time someone wants to make a movie that has women as more than supporting players, the people behind the movie will have some leverage. “Look at Bridesmaids!”, they can say. “Emma thought it was fantastic!”

Ok, they probably won’t say that last part. But they’ll definitely say the first part.

And people? I did think it was fantastic. I went to see it with my mom today – I do need to warn you, it opens with Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm having sort of … graphic … sex. I mean, not graphic in that you actually see anything you wouldn’t see if they were wearing swimsuits. Graphic as in they bounce around and yell a lot and…

I’m just telling you so that if you decide to see it with your mom, you’re prepared. You might want to either send her to the bathroom or go yourself for that part.

It was everything I wanted movies like I Love You Man and Superbad to be*. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoyed those movies. I just hated that I was frequently jerked out of moments of hilarity by some misogynistic bullshit, or the sudden awareness that the film was failing the Bechdel test.

I assume, dear readers, that you actually know some women. I therefore assume that it is not news to you that sometimes, when we’re together, we go entire sentences – nay, paragraphs – without discussing men.

I’m confused as to how we all know this, and yet that fact is so rarely represented in movies, particularly comedic ones.

Independent of those issues – underrepresented and wrongly represented women – it’s nice to see people like me on the screen. By like me I actually literally mean like me – Wiig plays a failed baker in her thirties (hi, life, nice to see you up there in technicolor!) and figuratively like me. Women, with friends, who say funny things, and do things, and … ya know – live. And stuff.

Anyway. If you haven’t seen Bridesmaids, please do. You will not be disappointed. I personally guarantee you a refund if you are**. It was so funny that I thought the dude sitting down the row from me was going to have an aneurysm. He laughed until he started coughing, and then sort of started choking, and then sort of started breathing heavy (don’t worry, he wasn’t alone). The next awesome scene, he did it again.

Did you notice I said ‘dude’? That I noticed, there were two men in the theater. Maybe men are worried that it’s going to be lady-humor? There is some humor that I would consider lady-humor, certainly. There’s a whole bit about how men just stick their penises in your face until you give up and … well, I would sort of call that humor geared towards those who have sex with men. However, I have watched a lot of shitty jokes about boobs and vagina over the years, so I’m going to say Bridesmaids totally earned this one. There was also puking. And pooping of pants. And a sex tape that involves a really big sandwich. (Yes, Bridesmaids does take place because of a wedding, but it is so not about the wedding.)

I’m just saying.

Something for everyone.

* Bridesmaids is being compared to a chick version of The Hangover. That was a horrible fucking movie. Seriously. I mean, it had its moments – but… no. Just, no. If that’s what you’re looking for, just wait for The Hangover II (which I personally am super plus psyched about, lemme tell you).

** I’m assuming here that if you request a refund from me and I forward your request to Kristen Wiig, she’ll hook you up. If she doesn’t, I take no responsibility. What? She’s a movie star now.