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You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for May, 2011

princesses part deux

Tuesday, May 17th, 2011

Remember all those princes I was considering marrying?

You know, because they were all totally into me and stuff?

Apparently people don’t say very nice things about you when you’re a princess.

All Snow White wanted was to have a healthy snack, y’all. Gluttony?

In truth, this series from deviantART is gorgeous. Clicking on the picture will take you to images of all seven deadly sins, and somewhere in there is a link to a companion set that illustrates the seven virtues (which I actually didn’t know was a thing – thank you, pop culture and Brad Pitt, for making me aware of the bad ones and failing to mention the whole other side).

Also worth checking out is Dina Goldstein’s Fallen Princesses project. They’re pictures of life after the happily ever after – Belle gets plastic surgery, Snow White has ten kids and a slacker prince of a husband, and Jasmine is decked out for battle in a Middle Eastern field.

We use princesses the same way we use superheros – as foils for our daily concerns but on a much grander level. For a normal person, Gluttony means too many pieces of pie or bottles of wine, leading to some extra pounds or a tired liver. For a certain well known princess, Gluttony means one bite from an apple and a semi-permanent coma.

It must be hard to be a real princess. That’s a lot of responsibility to take on. Superheros can handle the weight of our expectations, what with not actually existing and all. Princesses – not so much.

All those princes that are wooing me are going to be disappointed – but I don’t think it’s a job I would want.

ETA: The brilliant Awlbiste pointed out in comments below that there is a definite air of something like misogyny in the first pictures, and that referring to the princesses as ‘fallen’ is quite judgmental.

I absolutely see what she’s getting at. Perhaps it has something to do with the expectations society has of women – the be good/stay pretty/eat lightly/act sweetly bar that women are held to. If you read the descriptions for each sin, the ones that explain why that particular woman was chosen to represent that sin, they’re likely not things that would be considered sins if they’d been committed by men. For example, Ariel was chosen to represent Greed because she wasn’t happy under the sea with just her family and friends. In a man, would that read as ambition? Why would he want to stay home? He’s got things to do! Places to be! Money to earn! She must be greedy, though.




Monday, May 16th, 2011

This weekend I was lucky enough to have dinner with two entirely different sets of wonderful girlfriends.

During both dinners, I found myself yelling “but we’re grown ass women” at least once.

Last night, it definitely had to do with zits. And perhaps career goals. On Friday night I think it had to do with the fact that I didn’t want to play Rock Band.

I’ve finally pinpointed the problem.

See, I haven’t entirely given up on climbing trees. I climbed one earlier this year when Crockett and I were in Santa Fe.

As we all know, climbing a tree means you’ll never grow up.

Right? Because songs are always true?

Anyway, my tree climbing must be the reason that all of my magical grown up benefits haven’t kicked in yet. Clear skin and career certainty and all that stuff – big trees with strong branches are the only thing standing between me and them.

I’ve got you figured out, life. In your face.

No – just ‘problems’

Friday, May 13th, 2011

If I see the words ‘First World Problems’ one more time today, I am going to reach through the computer screen and smack the person who wrote them upside the head.

First World Problems (or #firstworldproblems on twitter) is this thing that’s taken the internets by storm recently. I’m not sure for how long – I probably saw it last week, but this week is when it really started to grate on me.

The straw that made me want to kick the fucking camel was a recent post on Apartment Therapy. They have an ‘ask the readers’ feature where you submit a question about your home and they post it and let commenters make suggestions. Yesterday, a woman wrote in saying that her and her boyfriend have a bathroom that is directly over their building’s parking garage, and that her baths get cold almost immediately. Several people suggested that perhaps her floor is not properly insulated, or that she preheat the tub with boiling water.

One super cool commenter just posted ‘first world problems’. That comment has since been removed.

Yes, people. By virtue of living in a first world country, we have first world problems.

THE ARE STILL PROBLEMS. I also have white girl problems, short girl problems – hell, just girl problems. I have student problems and American problems. Some of these problems absolutely have to do with me being in a position of privilege, and some don’t. They are still problems.

If I were to go somewhere that hunger is currently a country wide issue, say, and then whine about having nothing to eat because nothing in my full fridge looks good, that would be tasteless and really just kind of lame. Ditto for going to some third world orphanage and then complaining that my parents didn’t pay my college tuition. There are a lot of tacky ways that I could complain about things like that.

However, a statement of a cold bathtub and a request for help does not require a smack down. The author of that question didn’t go to some place where they can’t bathe and whine in their faces about her tepid bathwater. She has an apartment with a bathtub. (She doesn’t actually say where she lives, but I think Apartment Therapy readership is mostly American with some Canadians and Europeans thrown in for good measure.) She just wants to take a bath. People take baths all the time.

When you list her problem (or mine, or Crockett’s) up against hunger and poverty and oppressive government regimes, they do seem insignificant. However, that’s not how problems work. Happiness seeks a certain level, and ours has leveled out somewhere above poor, hungry, and oppressed. We know, waking up, that we’ll have enough to eat. That makes us lucky, absolutely, but it doesn’t mean that the things that go wrong for us during the day aren’t still things that go wrong.

And, as a final indignity, everyone who makes the ‘first world problems’ accusation on the internet HAS ACCESS TO THE INTERNET. You know what’s a first world problem? Having the time and ability to hang out on line and then using it to degrade other people.



Thursday, May 12th, 2011

I love other peoples blogs. Truly adore them. And my favorite kind?

The dairy diary kind.

They’re usually about food, but there are other types too. They’re usually not particularly emotional – not like, Dear Dairy Diary, today someone was MEAN to me and I cried and cried. They’re more like – today, I did this and that and ate this and that and sometimes something exciting will happen like a car gets dinged in the grocery store parking lot and … well, that’s about it.

I don’t know why I find them so fascinating.

I mean, if my best friend called me at the end of every day and said ok so this is what I ate and this is what I did and geesh I almost fell down the stairs at like 3 o’clock I would be irritated by the second day.

I wonder if it’s the voyeurism of a stranger’s minutiae that appeals. If one of my best friends were to start such a blog, would I somehow find it interesting once it was in writing? Is it the ability to consume the information in private, rather than the person the information comes from? If my friend is on the phone telling me about her near fall down the stairs I have to be kind of sympathetic, but when I’m reading it on the internet I’m allowed to chortle – is that the difference?

Who knows.

Anyway, I read a lot of those blogs.

They’re internet reality tv, I guess.

I feel so violated

Monday, May 9th, 2011

Because I’m fabulous, obviously.

Oh, wait. That isn’t me?


Ok, fine. I freely acknowledge that Emma Email Marketing was around before I took this picture (although I don’t know for sure when they started using their current logo…).

I also acknowledge that the entire world does not revolve around me.

I don’t acknowledge that freely, mind you. It’s more of a teeth pulling kind of acknowledgement, but still. It’s acknowledged.

The Emma company seems cool. Since I’m not in the email marketing world, I don’t know for sure if they’re actually good at what they do, but based on the prevalence of the not-my-Emma-face ads on the internets, they must have be earning some money to spend on adverstising.

Anyhow. In case it wasn’t clear, I am in no way affiliated with this company and I’m not actually accusing them of using me as their logo.

I am considering emailing them and offering to be their real live spokesperson, though.