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Archive for July, 2011

whole-leeee shit

Friday, July 29th, 2011

Hey, guess what I just realized?

Wait, let me give you a little background.

It’s still July. (You probably knew that).

Sure, August is only three days away – but it’s still July.

I kept thinking that I had allllll kinds of time to get the remainder of my thesis background research done.

And then I looked at this.

Do you see the amount of days between now and when school starts?


Plus, my brother is coming to town (I will actually work those days because I’ll have to, but it’s not going to be easy and I’d just like you all to acknowledge that) and Crockett and I are going to two – count ’em TWO – family reunions in MI.


Oh summer, where did you get off to?


all together now: feminism will cause the world to end

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

So that jackass in Norway, yeah?

Hate that guy.

(I realize I sound flippant. I don’t really know how to give that tragedy the weight it deserves. Calling Anders Behring Breivik a jackass doesn’t seem to quite do it, but I don’t have mad skills with heavy words, you know?)

Anyway, the jackass had all sorts of really really shitty reasons for doing what he did. Conveniently, he put them in a manifesto for everyone to peruse at their leisure. (I hate it when terrorists force me to acknowledge their ideology on their timetable.)

From Time Magazine:
The document, 2083: A European Declaration of Independence, is something of a template for right-wing terrorism, a rambling manifesto that at times rails at “cultural Marxists” and “multiculturalism” and blames them for the destruction of Western culture. Elsewhere he offers detailed instructions on Web-based self-publishing, comments on his TV habits and provides tips for building a successful terrorist cell. With the exception of some highly personal descriptions of growing up and his pain over the divorce of his parents, the document is eerily reminiscent of the jihadist instruction manuals that have been widely distributed over the Internet since the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

He posted it on Facebook right before he unleashed his crazy. Along with his complaints about those of different races, he also had some super things to say about ladies. Specifically, feminists. Apparently, in the jackass’s mind, we’re also to blame for the whole downward spiral of his dear dear culture.

So I was reading about this whole thing, and I stumbled across a mention of this super neat internet prank that someone on reddit pulled.

If you’re not familiar with reddit, it’s basically one big message board with groups that spring off for a whole variety of topics. People post jokes and picture, questions, look for advice, do all kinds of stuff. I really enjoy a lot about reddit – I think that some parts of it are among the best of what the internet has to offer.

There’s also the reddit Men’s Rights Forum.

I do not find that among the best the internet has to offer.

The Men’s Rights Forum is one place among many that (apparently) exist in the ‘manosphere’. The ‘manosphere’ is a bunch of blogs and boards and youtube channels that exist to complain about how feminists are tramping all over men’s rights with their big unsexy shoes. It’s full of mysognists who think they’re realists. As of right now, the front page of r/mensrights includes a diatribe on the ‘diamond ring scam’, a request for people to go comment on some article at Salon that is about women who lie about being raped, and a long string about women only gyms being perfect justification for men to keep women out of wherever they want.

So, this little internet prank. Someone posted excerpts from the jackass’s manifesto on reddit as if they were his own thoughts. He claimed to be using a throwaway account because his girlfriend was also a redditor, and he didn’t want her to see what he was saying.

The copied gems include:

If all oppression comes from Western men, it becomes logical to try weakening them as much as possible. If you do, a paradise of peace and equality awaits us at the other side of the rainbow. Well congratulations to Western women. You’ve succeeded in harassing and ridiculing your own sons into suppressing many of their masculine instincts. To your surprise, you didn’t enter a feminist Nirvana, but paved the way for an unfolding hell….


Feminists claim that women have been victims of men, that men have oppressed women for centuries and that the sexes are equal. Denying this will result in the smears “misogynist” and “male chauvinist pig”. But equalising the sexes has led to a crippling feminisation [sic] of Western society … portraying women as oppressed victims and the equals of males is one example of how the pursuit of equality is being used to destroy our society and undermine – and therefore be in conflict with – Mother nature.

The poster got a lot of positive feedback – ‘great points, man’ – and upvotes before someone figured out that they were reading the manifesto of someone who had just killed 93 people.

To be completely clear: reddit is full of regular folks who really like the internet. They have inside jokes and stuff, but in general they aren’t, say, killers and terrorists.

When a particular group of them was faced with the rants of a murderous psychopath, they failed to recognize it as such and instead cheered along.

I’m heartbroken. It is so unbelievably sad that such vitriol finds a place in the real world – not just among those who have lost their minds, but among those who have women in their lives in the form of family, lovers, and coworkers.

Like everyone else, I wish that someone had identified the danger that the jackass posed before he did his thing. The problem is that the warning signs are apparently not unique.



Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

We rented 127 hours.

Crockett: I’m not sure I want to see him cut his arm off. Maybe we should watch something else.

Me: Stop being a baby. This is going to be awesome.

… an hour later …

Me: Oh my god was that his NERVE? TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF!!!!

Crockett, in his infinite wisdom, did not respond with ‘stop being a baby’.

Of course, he also didn’t turn it off.

under pressure

Tuesday, July 26th, 2011

There are a lot of hard jobs out there.

Like, being a preschool teacher. Either parents are going to be all ‘hey take good care of my precious precious baby and don’t forget wood toys only and DEAR GOD keep those peanuts away from him!’ or they’re going to drop him off at the front door holding a Pepsi and a bag of airplane peanuts and screech away in their TransAm.

What? I’m not a parent – everything I know I learned from movies.

Also, I apparently think that bad parents drive muscle cars.

Other hard jobs? Working on an oil rig. Crockett and I just found out that someone we know was having a hard time finding a job, and has been working the night shift on an oil rig for the last six months. Apparently he’s lost 35 pounds and is slowly losing his mind. (Don’t worry – he’s got a line on a stockbroker position.)

It’s probably hard being a medical examiner, too. You have to help people identify their loved ones. You have to solve crimes while your pesky cop coworkers are breathing down your neck. You have to stick your hands in dead bodies, like, as a daily thing.

I would think, though, that establishing whether someone was dead or not would become sort of a normal part of your day.

‘Hey, Medical Examiner, we found this dude in bed this morning and he looks pretty dead. Can you check?’

Recently in South Africa, apparently the ME wasn’t feeling inclined to make that check.

Instead, he just took the word of the guy who went to pick up the body. Who, apparently, just took the word of the body’s family.

Seriously. A man’s family found him. He looked dead. They called the undertaker, who came and said ‘yep, sure looks dead to us’. They called the morgue people, who came and stuck the man in a car and drove him to the morgue.

The morgue owner (who I am assuming is the South African equivalent of a medical examiner) stuck him in a fridge.

Without noticing that he was just in a coma.

Sure, the family missed the coma – I wouldn’t necessarily expect them to get all vital signy on dead grandpa’s ass. And the undertaker? Kind of a stretch, but it’s not like they started replacing his blood with formaldehyde.  However, I would expect someone who’s job it is to examine dead bodies to notice when a body wasn’t actually dead.

Of course, everyone who worked at the morgue noticed 21 hours later when the -ahem- ‘dead guy’ woke up from his coma and yelled for someone to let him out of the fridge.

Again – being a person who deals with dead bodies? Probably a tough job. Right up there with preschool teacher and oil rig worker, even.

Making sure that the bodies you’re dealing with are actually dead?

Seems kind of basic to me.

P.S. The actual best part of the story is that the morgue owner called the police and told them that he had a ghost. And asked them if they’d shoot it. The guy doesn’t understand how dead bodies or ghosts work.

things for this week

Monday, July 25th, 2011

Spilled Milk podcast

About them: Here at Spilled Milk headquarters, we combine food and comedy in a bowl and stir it up until it explodes. Join your jovial (possibly too jovial) hosts, Molly and Matthew, for recipes, cooking tips, winning lotto numbers, and catfights. Spilled Milk has not been evaluated by theFDA and is not intended to treat any disease, but just between you and me, it probably cures chlamydia.

Chlamydia, people. This is comedy gold.


Lubec, Maine

As you can see from the sign, Lubec is as far east as you can get in the United States. Of course, Canada is just across the Quoddy Narrows.

I’m pretty sure this is the kind of place that rejects you if you aren’t 17th generation or if you accidentally say ‘Quoddy’ wrong.

I kind of want to move there and make friends with some old men and eat a lot of lobster rolls.


Hunting Arrows

Who knew that arrows following your mouse around a screen could be so purdy?


Emma’s unite:

I couldn’t find this image on his website, but according to, Emma and Maria are the names to beat. He’s got a bunch of other maps too.