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You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for March, 2013

but WHICH cushion?

Monday, March 25th, 2013

I feel like this is relevant for SO MANY of my friends right now:

A date is the practice of rhetorical formalism, rote interview answers exchanged in fear of falling afoul of our partner’s ideological composition (e.g., I’m not fucking a Republican, an astrologer, a Rutgers grad, a musician, someone who listens to Vampire Weekend) by either over-explaining or repeating the ideological fragments we think will keep a nice happy hour from devolving into a talk radio inquisition (e.g. I canvassed for Obama, I’m a Gemini but I don’t take it seriously, I don’t even know who Vampire Weekend is).

But the whole article is awesome.

I’m a Male Sex Writer – Why Would Anyone Date Me?


Monday, March 11th, 2013

Today my dear friend Star is losing her very very good dog. It makes me sad for her, and sad for him – I hope that he’ll feel better, though, because he’s having a hard time. It also makes me very sad for Clo. I miss her a lot, and I wish Star didn’t have to go through the same thing.

That is all.

crooked little houses

Friday, March 8th, 2013

Ok so. In one of the Harry Potter books, the whole wizarding media took against Harry, do you guys remember that? It was sneaky, like they’d say someone who did something dumb ‘pulled a Harry Potter’* or whatever?

I feel like the popular media is doing the reverse right now with Enlightened, the tv show that airs after Girls on HBO. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I’m getting the impression that the Gawker and Gawker-esque sites are trying to save it. (I think it’s about to be cancelled.) Yes, there have been articles about it, but it’s also been casually referenced and … just sort of snuck in here and there.

How does something like that happen? Is there a memo that circulates? I mean, I’ve seen it recently on and on, and Jezebel once referred to xoJane as the ‘best site for hate reading’, so they’re obviously not all going out to coffee together or anything. Does one person mention it then everyone starts loving it? Is this a media meme?

I guess I’m going to watch it, though, because the the Jezebel/xoJane venn diagram now has at least TWO things in the middle – me as a reader and that show as something they like.


Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

This morning I was on my way to work, and I saw something in the sky.

I’m pretty sure that something was an asteroid. I suspect it was carrying aliens, although I have no proof.

I’m serious, you guys. I am so serious that I drew you a picture.

Now, it’s not exactly perfect. For the yellow, imagine cloudy white, and for the red, imagine like a dark bluish shadow in the middle of the cloudy white. (What? I did a presentation for hundreds of people using stick figures one time. This is as good as it gets. Also, the app I used doesn’t have white.)

So, anyway, I was driving down the street and I saw this thing up in the sky at about sixty degrees, and it was moving fast and down. It was falling, basically. I called Crockett and told him to run outside and look, but by the time I’d gotten him properly oriented it was too low.

Then it was gone, and I forgot about it until just now.  However, a brief internet search appears to indicate that Denver hasn’t been invaded, or if it has it’s happening in a very orderly fashion. Probably someone would have mentioned an alien-less asteroid, too, huh?

Basically I have no idea what it was that I saw, but I refuse to believe that it was nothing. (Crockett asked if it was a weather balloon, which means it was definitely aliens.) That’s how they get you. (‘They’ who, Emma? Got me.) We’re all so reasonable all the time, and it allows the amazing to slip under our radar.

Not this time, ‘they’. I saw an asteroid, aliens, or both this morning. Reason be damned.

PS – Someone left a very unhappy comment for me yesterday (they were unhappy, not me). My favorite part was the opening. “I don’t normally read your blog for the same reason I don’t watch reality tv. Your vanity and pretension are so absurdly high that they almost appear scripted. I get that that is somewhat the point of your blog, but I’ve met you in person and sadly life imitates art way too closely. ”


better luck next time

Tuesday, March 5th, 2013

So, I just did something and I am REALLY REALLY irritated with myself for doing so.

I caved and went to a health screening at my office. Basically, my blood pressure and cholesterol were under control, I’d get $150.

Of course, my cholesterol is NOT under control, because I am my fathers daughter. The lady who did the test was super sweet previous to that, and then when she saw the 295 (yes my freaking cholesterol is 295) she just sort of stopped chatting with me. ALSO, she made me tell her the weight on the scale, which is weird. I don’t really weigh myself anymore, and I’m cranky that that’s something they forced me to know.

Anyway, yes I’m irritated by the fact that my cholesterol sucks.

However, I’m more irritated that for the promise of a little bit of money, I let my work and my health intertwine themselves.

I appreciate companies wanting people to be healthy, but this is not a place that needs a free screening. Everyone who works here has health insurance. We sit in cubicles and we take home acceptably sized paychecks and we go to the doctor. The reason we were screened is, I suspect, because the health insurers give the company a break on premiums if we’re a certain level of not-fat, not-high-blood-pressured, and not-high-cholesteroled.

To be clear, if these screenings were offered somewhere like, say, a college? Or for hourly workers in retail? I fully support them. For me, though, it just feels intrusive. There is one thing that my company can require of me: that I do my damn job. My weight, and cholesterol, and glucose levels? Honestly, I could be going home and doing illegal drugs all night long and it’s none of their damn business. (I actually just considered searching our HR site for ‘drug policy’ and then decided against it.) Ok, I don’t know for sure about the drugs, but the other stuff is true. Is it in their best interest to keep me healthy? Absolutely. You know what helps in keeping people healthy? GENUINELY encouraging them to stay home when they’re sick, for one thing. Not something that happens here.

Look, I know that I get touchy about people  up in my business, and I know that I voluntarily did this today because I had a Scrooge McDuck dollar signs for eyes moment.

I still think this is something of a slippery slope. I believe in making wellness easy, and hell, if my company wants to incentivize it, that’s their business, I guess. I just find it to be a smidge big brothery that it’s tied up with my insurance. If the numbers were for me and no one else, to do with what I see fit? Fine. But now not just my doc knows about my cholesterol.

Anyway. Fuck you, arteries.