I think it’s about time to share that one comment. The one that STILL RANKLES. Comments in brackets are mine but I tried to keep them to a minimum.
I don’t normally read your blog for the same reason I don’t watch reality tv. Your vanity and pretension are so absurdly high that they almost appear scripted. [I cannot overstate how much I love that part.] I get that that is somewhat the point of your blog, but I’ve met you in person and sadly life imitates art way too closely. One of your other readers [implying that people all over the place are talking about my blog would only work if I didn’t know there’s like ten awesome people who read it and two are related to me – I think our critic here had me in RSS] pointed me to this post and I just had to comment.
A few points: Since you ramble it was difficult to pin down your main argument [the post this comment was on is here but was regarding my irritation with myself for taking a health test at work when I didn’t necessarily agree it was something that should be offered, and it was absolutely rambley- good call mean stranger], but it seems you are mostly concerned with invasion of your privacy, specifically your weight and cholesterol levels. First of all, understand that privacy is already lost when you blog indiscriminately about every little thing that upsets you on the internet. Now, you almost [so close] did the right thing and accepted responsibility: that your own greed for the princely [of or held by a prince] sum of 150 dollars led you to an embarrassing [embarrassed and irritated are not synonyms] couple of minutes at a health screening (295? Yikes, don’t make holiday plans!) [imminent death to me ahahahah fuck you]. But it is imbalanced by your diatribe about ulterior motives and intrusive company policies. While it is possible the company benefits monetarily from hosting health screenings, you have only suspicions, not facts. Why is money an acceptable excuse for you ($150), but not your company (probably more than $150?) I guess if you can cave, so can ‘Big Brother,’ yes? [All of this is a way of saying ‘I don’t agree with you’. I’m not sure I agree with myself either. But you didn’t have to be a dick about it.]
A couple other laughable points: The health screening was in the morning and you posted this before close of business the same day [This is true. I wrote the post and fired it off at lunch]. Safe to assume you aren’t always “doing your damn job.” It’s also known you routinely work from home and have others do your work by proxy. So please, don’t complain about your company’s attitude toward your attendance. [The work by proxy thing? I have no idea. I worked from home when allowed which wasn’t very often. Someone was grinding a confusing axe that I wasn’t aware existed.]
[Most interesting thing to note with regard to the preceding paragraph regarding my posting from work? The comment was posted at 9:08 am on the weekday following my post and is admittedly by a coworker. Plus I’m not an idiot (read: I asked someone how to do this) and I looked at the source IP address and found that it came from my office building. How long did this damn thing take to write, huh, meanie-pants??]
Also, if you’re your father’s daughter, shouldn’t you blame him and not your arteries? Sounds like this bad news was nothing you shouldn’t have known already.
You. Spoiled. Brat. [The opening three sentences are my favorite part, but this is a close second.]
Yours truly, A critic
I suspect I know who this was, honestly. Well, one of two or three people. I don’t work with any of them anymore. Upside.