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emmanation

You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for August, 2014

well you are a misogynist at heart, so there’s no way you would have bet on these girls

Friday, August 29th, 2014

This is what I do, when alone, with beer, on a Friday night.

I am teaching myself Cups.

I’m currently at about 1/8 speed. Perhaps I’ll update if I have a reasonable video of myself to share.

band WAGGIN’

Thursday, August 28th, 2014

You’ve seen it. I’ve seen it. We’ve all seen it and and we’re all shocked by its origins, right?

should-you-catcall-her

via Playboy – click on the image to visit the original site but be aware it is a playboy url, so use discretion if at work

Playboy knocking it out of the park.

It’s still objectifying. I could definitely live without the silhouettes at the top, for example, and some of the statements could have been worded differently. (For the ‘banging booty’ one, insert ‘are there parts of her body that you find are of a shape that traditionally appeals to the male gaze …’ ok, yeah, not catchy). And for the sexually frustrated one, the answers give the two choices as ‘no because am having sex’ or ‘yes am a harasser’, when there is in fact a perfectly good third option which is no I am not currently having sex but I will still not be aiming my sex wants at strangers.

Small complaints.

My absolute favorite part, though, is the verging-on confusion that comes across in the answers in the respectful, appropriate path. In the ‘is she dressed up real nice’ box, the font implies a greasy guy saying ‘reeeeeel nice’ and possibly making hand gestures at the same time (to me at least), and the appropriate guy is like um I guess? She’s probably got a meeting or something? Cracks me up.

Whoever’s idea this was, love it. Still not going to the all new and improved (not a playboy link) playboy.com, but, you know, good job, guys. Language of the playboy reader, message of a woman walking down the street just trying to live her life.

just when I thought I was out

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

Sorry, guys.

Veronica Mars is now streaming on HBO Go.

BRB.

nobody call HR

Tuesday, August 26th, 2014

Today Coastie and I were messing around at work. I got a catalog in the mail for bizarrely expensive ski clothes, and we work with catalogs, so we were looking at the clothes ($1600 ski pants, for example) and trying to figure out why the catalog would have come to a non-skier who balks at triple digit clothing costs.

Really, mostly, we were just laughing at the pants and telling stories, though, and somehow I started talking about the time that my brother got his car stolen in Tijuana. (Logic there goes ski pants …. um … Tijuana. It was late in the day and everything was going kind of loopy.) So I, for some inexplicable reason, say that I have always wondered if my brother and his friends were looking for/at a donkey show when the Jeep was stolen.

I have no reason to think that’s the case, except that everything I know about Tijuana I learned from the episode of Veronica Mars where Logan goes down for a boys weekend and one of his friends smuggles drugs and I’m pretty sure there was a donkey show in that episode because otherwise where the hell else would I have gotten that idea?

So anyway, Coastie says jokingly (I think) that I should just ask my brother, and I tell him I would literally never ever do that and I laugh and laugh and all of a sudden another coworker is standing there asking what I would never talk to my brother about.

Totally stuck. I can refuse to tell her, but that’s basically admitting that Coastie and I were talking about inappropriate things and what do I say? I was talking about dirty things and I don’t think I know you well enough to tell you?

(Actually, yeah, that wouldn’t have been the worst response aside from that last part. But I think she and Coastie were a lot tighter before I started and it just felt kind of mean to be like nope, can’t tell you, our secret.)

Second best choice, make something up.

I mentioned that it was late in the day and loopy, right?

So I was like oh, well, I was saying I thought he might have gone to a donkey show in Tijuana and Coastie said I should just ask him.

Blankness. She is a lovely, smart, nerdy, young(ish) mathematician and she has never heard of a donkey show before. She looks back and forth between me and Coastie and our faces are getting redder and redder and then he looks at his watch and says ‘gosh I have a phone call’ (swear to god, could have stabbed him), so she looks at me expectantly.

So I say.

“Google it.”

Then I add.

“Um, but not from work.”

Please nobody call HR.

 

oh my

Monday, August 25th, 2014

Yesterday a sweet friend of mine was at a fantasy football draft and some jackass made her feel bad.

Here’s how it went down. They were all drinking beer, making their picks, etc, and he started spouting off about the hotness of the women that he would like to … ‘get with’. (Of course I’m not above much cruder words, but I want to use them when I want to use them, not when some cuntrocket used them.) Then, just so everyone was aware, he very specifically said that he would never sleep with a woman who weighed more than 110 pounds. Because that would just be gross.

Apparently the background is that he’s very into MMA and he finds that kind of very strong, very low body fat woman attractive. Why the hell not? They look good and they work really hard. Admire them, want to bone them, whatever. We like what we like and when it’s based in reasonable admiration for an appropriate (i.e. non-exploited) target, then carry on.

Where his thought process fell apart is in trying to assign an upper weight limit.

A) THOSE WOMEN DO NOT ALL WEIGH THAT LITTLE. A few minutes of idle googling can tell you that if your eyeballs cannot, but they are strong, solidly built women. The lightest MMA class for women is the ‘atomweight‘ class, and the women in that class are at the top end of it. The other four classes are all heavier. So if he really means his upper limit is 110 lbs, then he’s limiting himself to one tiny part of the MMA world. I don’t know him, but is he really saying that a bantamweight MMA fighter could ask him for a date and he’d say no? Seems unlikely to me.

B) Then my sweet friend asked him how much he thought she weighed. She was trying to make a point, I see where she was going with it, but I also suspect you are currently seeing how it backfired. I don’t know how much she weighs but based on her reaction to his guess, I’m going to say he overestimated by 15 – 25 pounds. She might not be quite under his 110 lb limit, but she’s definitely close. So he can’t actually SEE 110 lbs when it’s in front of him. And he hurt her feelings, because he’d been espousing how unattractive something was and then immediately included her in that group.

The thing is, I support being attracted to whatever attracts you (again, as long as it’s appropriate and could be returned in a legal fashion). If cockknuckles like this guy want to set their sights on women with four percent body fat and very real training in ass kicking, more power to them. Their chances of success are their problem.

What is not ok is saying that other things are gross, ESPECIALLY if you have no idea what you’re talking about. If asked about your taste, explain briefly and non-insultingly and move on. No one needs to get hurt. (Except possibly idiots who hang out with bantamweight MMA fighters and then say 140 pounds is too heavy.)

Also, if some dummy says that he knows unequivocally what is and isn’t attractive, maybe tell him he doesn’t know what he doesn’t know and that he should shut his face. Or just walk away. Either one probably won’t dent his brain, but it might make you feel better.