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You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

nobody call HR

August 26th, 2014 by biscuit

Today Coastie and I were messing around at work. I got a catalog in the mail for bizarrely expensive ski clothes, and we work with catalogs, so we were looking at the clothes ($1600 ski pants, for example) and trying to figure out why the catalog would have come to a non-skier who balks at triple digit clothing costs.

Really, mostly, we were just laughing at the pants and telling stories, though, and somehow I started talking about the time that my brother got his car stolen in Tijuana. (Logic there goes ski pants …. um … Tijuana. It was late in the day and everything was going kind of loopy.) So I, for some inexplicable reason, say that I have always wondered if my brother and his friends were looking for/at a donkey show when the Jeep was stolen.

I have no reason to think that’s the case, except that everything I know about Tijuana I learned from the episode of Veronica Mars where Logan goes down for a boys weekend and one of his friends smuggles drugs and I’m pretty sure there was a donkey show in that episode because otherwise where the hell else would I have gotten that idea?

So anyway, Coastie says jokingly (I think) that I should just ask my brother, and I tell him I would literally never ever do that and I laugh and laugh and all of a sudden another coworker is standing there asking what I would never talk to my brother about.

Totally stuck. I can refuse to tell her, but that’s basically admitting that Coastie and I were talking about inappropriate things and what do I say? I was talking about dirty things and I don’t think I know you well enough to tell you?

(Actually, yeah, that wouldn’t have been the worst response aside from that last part. But I think she and Coastie were a lot tighter before I started and it just felt kind of mean to be like nope, can’t tell you, our secret.)

Second best choice, make something up.

I mentioned that it was late in the day and loopy, right?

So I was like oh, well, I was saying I thought he might have gone to a donkey show in Tijuana and Coastie said I should just ask him.

Blankness. She is a lovely, smart, nerdy, young(ish) mathematician and she has never heard of a donkey show before. She looks back and forth between me and Coastie and our faces are getting redder and redder and then he looks at his watch and says ‘gosh I have a phone call’ (swear to god, could have stabbed him), so she looks at me expectantly.

So I say.

“Google it.”

Then I add.

“Um, but not from work.”

Please nobody call HR.



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