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emmanation

You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

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October 1st, 2015 by biscuit

I semi-frequently refer to not current versions of myself in the third person.

(Star does it too, so, you know. Non-craziness comes in numbers.)

Usually I’m badmouthing past Emma, or pre-apologizing to future Emma. (That makes it sound like I made/ke poor choices, but when I’m making good choices it seems sort of self absorbed to be all ‘hey, future Emma, you’re welcome’, so, you know. Poor choices and excellent choices in equal measure, just not as relevant to the story.)

Yesterday I had leftover sloppy joes for lunch. They were part of me and Crockett’s whole food delivery experiment (Blue Apron/Hello Fresh/Green Chef report back for details at some point possibly!) and they were good but they had a lot of onions in them, and some extra onions on them, and they were not an ideal thing to eat in the middle of a work day.

A sweet coworker of mine was microwaving her lunch at the same time that I was heating up the oniony mess and I told her about the onion breath fog that usually makes me choose not to eat onions. After I ate the OnionParty2015 lunch, I mentioned to her that I should have known better. Then I casually said something about past Emma that I  no longer even remember. Something like ‘past Emma really let me down while packing this lunch’. Not. Even. Funny.

The thing is, she thought it was cute, and now she’s using it. To refer to me, not to her.

IT IS VERY DISCONCERTING.

“Did past Emma do this one work thing?”

“Oh future Emma is going to appreciate that current Emma just did that other work thing.”

It’s like sharing a personal nickname accidentally and someone starts using it, except it’s literally not at all like that because it’s nonsensical and sci-fi-y and requires conjugating.

So far, I can say current Emma and past Emma are not fans. Future Emma has yet to weigh in.

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