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emmanation

You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

whoommm whommmmmp

October 26th, 2015 by biscuit

Some sweet (and some, like, medium sweet?) people have been making friendly overtures lately, and I have been being an absolute suckface about it.

Most recently, a very sweet woman was walking her two dogs on the path. Her younger dog was a pain and her older dog was ill, and I was like hey I have a dog who is a pain and another who is ill and another who is ALSO a pain! We walked together for awhile and the dog pack seemed to calm all of the nerd butts down, and she sort of suggested future doggie play dates.

I agreed, and told her when we’re usually at the dog park.

And then I did not go to the dog park at that time.

There’s another example that follows the same sweet person/specific potential of some kind/enthusiastic agreement on some sort of future plan/total blowoff pattern, that the details for are basically irrelevant.

T’IS A REAL PROBLEM.

Here’s what I think. I think that I’m going through an introverted phase and what I mostly want to do is read and write and listen to audiobooks and podcasts and watch my puppies and hang out with Crockett. What I do not want to do is spend my time at the dog park or wherever getting to know a new person. That is permissible. Defensible, even.

What confuses me is that when I make these plans? Or build these potential plan bridges, or what have you? I totally think I’m into them. Meeting the nice woman at the dog park was MY IDEA.

So not only am I being kind of cruddy and misleading to strangers who would likely be totally fine with me just smiling and walking away, I am being misleading to my own damn self because I somehow think that future Emma is going to want to make awkward conversation while we watch our dogs chase each other (and poop, probably).

I do not want to do that and therefore she does not want to do that. Stay strong, future Emma, while I try to get my shit together over here.

 

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3 Responses to “whoommm whommmmmp”

  1. Carl says:

    Yup. These things ARE totally defensible. A neighbor left a note on my motorcycle about getting together and when I followed up there was no response. I understand. Can’t be hard on yourself.

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  3. biscuit says:

    Thank you! And I did go to the dog park today during the agreed upon window and she wasn’t there, so that helped :).

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