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not throwin’ away my

August 18th, 2016 by biscuit

You guys my neighbors are SO LOUD.

It’s like they’re PLAYING and ENJOYING LIFE ALL THE TIME basically.

It’s fine (said grouchily), really. I want people to be happy (said begrudgingly). I love the noise (said bitchily, which is what those first two ones meant too – but you guys knew that.)

Anyway.

We’re going to the mountains tomorrow! For two whole days! This will be the third time we’ve done it this summer, because Colorado makes that shit easy, and right now I’m trying to pack. There’s two approaches to this packing thing, as far as I’m concerned:

  • Prepare to look cute for every eventuality
  • Take one pair of pants and two shirts because that’s what’s going to get worn anyway

I’m torn. Looking cute is key, but also, it’s not like there are any surprises in store. I’m going to go for a long run Saturday morning, so those clothes are in the bag (ha). Crockett is going to pick me up from work, so by default I’ll have whatever I put on tomorrow morning. I could probably get through the whole weekend with the combo of running and work clothes, in a pinch.

Last week I basically wore pajamas on Friday, so that'll be good.

Last week I basically wore pajamas on Friday, so I’ve set an excellent precedent for vacation friendly clothes. Half of this was not allowed by our dress code.

This was a long lead-in to a dumb topic: dress codes at the office. My office technically has one. Our ‘don’t’ list is:

  • Sweatsuits (wut, srsrly. I pay a HUGE amount of attention to what people wear to work, and even our most casual person wouldn’t wear a sweatsuit. Like, matching sweatpants and sweatshirt. That’s what they mean, right? Can you buy those still, even? I feel like the last one I saw was on Amy Pohler in Mean Girls?)
  • Work out clothes (*and* if you were going to say this, WHY BOTHER WITH ‘SWEATSUIT?’)
  • Halter tops or beach wear (mmkay, I’m with ya)

And then we get fun. Also on the don’ts list:

  • Tee shirts
  • Shorts
  • Flip flops (any sandals must have rear straps)
  • Sneakers (only permissible on Fridays)

While this is a perfectly reasonable and respectable line for a company to draw, this is Boulder county. There was audible chuckling when this showed up in everyone’s inbox. My row, specifically, is full of mathematicians and I think half of them don’t own shoes that aren’t flip flops or sneakers, and tee shirts are locked in daily wear.

I was wearing cute dress shorts and open back sandals on that day, in case you were wondering. Rebel.

The thing is, no one seems to be enforcing this. Like, bosses don’t care. HR doesn’t care. Only the person who wrote the email cared? And that person might be somewhere that isn’t Boulder county? I think that person might actually be in California … and they clearly don’t know how cool my office is. V cool, is the answer to that.

If I was going to write a dress code email that no one was going to abide by, I would have made it more interesting. Like …

  • If wearing pants fancier than jeans, must have either established a pattern of non jeans wearing (2+ times/week) or must be able to provide written proof of client meeting onsite (exception for interviews, in that case creating a fake client is not only permissible but encouraged)
  • No boring socks if they’re going to be visible at any point (literally just for my entertainment)
  • No repeated wears of any non-jean/non-shoe item of clothing in any two week period (same)
  • The company will provide an anonymous voting system in which you can post prospective outfits, but if you get more than 5 thumbs up you *must* wear it within a week
  • Price and source of shoes and jewelry must be provided on request at any time
  • Going barefoot to the printer if your shoes are under your desk is totally fine
  • If two people wear the same shirt accidentally, they must switch desks for the day
  • On Fridays where the projected high temp is >90, everyone must wear either shorts, a tank top, or a goofy hat

I dunno, guys. I’ve thought it was Friday all day today. Hit me with your super fun dress code rules and don’t judge me for rambling, k? K. Love.

 

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One Response to “not throwin’ away my”

  1. carl says:

    YEA! She’s writing again!!!

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