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emmanation

You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

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Thursday, February 2nd, 2012

Is it possible to cure writers block by writing something that isn’t what you started out trying to write? (Even if that thing that you write is a run on sentence that requires several seconds to parse.)

I am writing words now, so technically, yes, it does seem to be true, but the true test will come momentarily when I return to the thing I actually need to be writing.

The thing that I need to be writing has the potential to be sort of a big deal (to me) and I’m not quite ready to talk about it yet, but it’s taking up all of my time.

Oh, also? I applied for a professor job at a community college today. That I am willing to talk about, but I find myself with very little to say. I filled out an application, wrote a page about why I’d be good at the job, a page about my teaching philosophy, and then submitted the whole shebang along with my resume and transcript. It was very exciting – but it’s possible that I’m letting Community cloud my judgement. Anyway, even if Jeff Winger doesn’t show up, I think it’s a job I would both enjoy and perform well.

That is if psychic detective is completely off the table.

P.S. Our toilet is bound and determined to run, and it’s going to drive me fucking insane. In my townhouse the toilet ran but a) you could fix it by jiggling the handle and b) I always blamed it on the ghost that lived there with me, so it never really affected my life. This? This is either my fault, Crockett’s fault, or no one’s fault, and when one is faced with a running toilet, one does not simply blame no one. And the handle jiggle is completely useless. It’s very irritating.

pupper-do’s

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012

It’s been a stressful quarter, doggie wise.

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(Don’t worry, this picture was taken today and they’re both fine. This story does not have a sad ending.)

In late October, Cloey started shaking her head and scratching her ear. I bought some stuff to clean her ear out, but a) she hated it and b) it completely failed to help in any way.

We went to the vet.

The vet said she had an ear infection and gave me antibiotics and an in-ear steroidal cream.

He charged me half my Christmas budget, but Clo is my girl and these are the risks you take when you have pets.

Two weeks later, her infection came back.

“Oh. It appears that while we were killing the bacteria, yeast was taking over.”

I left with more antibiotics, anti-fungals, and a steroid pill because her ear was too swollen for the cream. And less money. Also? A lecture about how I should be taking care of my ten year old dog. Spoiler alert: that lecture revolved around an $800 blood and fluid workup that would ‘help us identify any future problem areas’.

I got in the car and cried on the way home from that visit. I love my dog, and when I brought her into my life as a teeny tiny puppy almost ten years ago, I effectively promised her that I would always take care of her. When she and I lived in Nederland, we had a great vet. He understood preventative care, but he also believed in prudence. The new vet, In Louisville, made me feel like I needed to go into debt just to test my girl for possible issues even though ear infection aside, she’s FINE.

Her ear infection came back. We switched vets.

The new vet told me that I should have been cleaning her ear since the second infection, that the prior vet had instructed application of the steroid cream incorrectly, and that the tests he’d recommended were simultaneously mostly unnecessary and wildly overpriced. I swear I almost hugged her. Then I gave mer a bunch of my money and took home yet another steroid cream and an acidic ear cleaning solution.

Cloey’s fine now.

Then my other dog, Maida, ate some chocolate. I thought both girls ate it, and it was a small amount, but after a few hours it became clear that Maida had eaten it alone.

By ‘it became clear’ I mean ‘Maida climbed into her toy box and started heaving her toys out at the wall, one by one, at fastball speed, and then spent several hours running up to my face and doing a dance’. It wore off.

She’s fine now.

I just want them to be healthy. I know they’re happy, but when they don’t feel good, there’s very little that I as a human can communicate to them. I can show them I love them, but I can’t say ‘hey, perhaps you shouldn’t eat everything you can find’ or ‘sweetpea, I know your ear hurts and I’m doing everything I can to fix it’.

Also? Sometimes I want them to find somewhere else to sit.

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It’s hard being one of my dogs.

Obviously.

Happy 2012!

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

I actually don’t know very much about the whole Mayan end-of-the-world prophecy thing, and I’m scared to look into it just in case  - you know – it’s real and then I have to decide what to do with my final ten months.

Anyway, last year of forever or not (probably not), I’m not making any resolutions this year. I want to resolve to be a better blogger, and to resolve to finish my book, and resolve to not take things at school so personally. I want to resolve to exercise every day, because it is an important a commitment as finishing my homework – for both my physical and mental health. I want to resolve to figure out what makes Cloey puke on the couch and stop her from doing it.

I’m not going to officially resolve any of those things, though, because I have no particular dedication to resolutions and I’m just as likely to do them just by virtue of wanting to do them. Which is to say, slim-to-moderately likely.

I guess we’ll see.

Also up in 2012 – graduation! A job, probably! My 31st birthday in two weeks!

What’s new for you?

Young Adult

Thursday, December 29th, 2011

Last night I went to see Young Adult with a couple of friends.

After some brief consideration, I decided I loved it – and they were so-so and displeased with it, respectively.

There are three possible reasons that I loved it.

First, that it was written by Diablo Cody and she’s a fucking genius. She writes dialogue that is simultaneously realistic and aspirational – she writes the things my best, smartest friend would say if she could see a few statements into the future in order to intelligently plan witty repartee.

Second, it was directed by Jason Reitman. His movies are my favorite movies with which to flog myself. (I HATED Up in the Air. FUCKING HATED IT. And then rented it not once but twice. Hated it every time. Keep going back. I have issues.)

Third, I’m gradually becoming a misanthrope and the movie has nothing to say about the redeeming values of humanity. Charlize Theron, in particular, supported the worldview that people are selfish and life is sort of generally crappy for everyone all the time. I like that, because that’s the kind of view that I’m learning in grad school. Thanks, school!

So there you go – if you like Diablo Cody or Jason Reitman or kind of hate everyone, this is the holiday week movie for you.

 

paris

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

When things are going badly for me (as they are right now in school), I have dreams about going to Europe.

Not daydreams of walking through Parisian streets – actual dreams in which I’m part of some group that has a trip planned.

In these dreams, I never even make it on the plane, much less all the way to Europe.

In last night’s version, I packed a bag but forgot pants, and then followed a GPS thing to the airport and ended up in Colorado Springs – more than 100 miles from DIA.

Sometimes I arrive at the airport and can’t find a place to park. Sometimes the airport is a maze.

Sometimes, I have an out of body experience where I watch everyone else milling around the gate, getting on the plane (which is always luxurious), and generally not caring where I am.

I can’t imagine what these dreams might mean.

Maybe I should just go to Paris.