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Archive for the ‘before I got hip to wordpress’ Category

Jesus don't cry

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Things I learned today:

1) Radicchio is disgusting. Really. It’s like bitterness and crunchiness and grossness all rolled up into a nasty purple leaf.  I remember wanting to make radicchio risotto when I was in college and not being able to find it anywhere – turns out Golden supermarkets were doing me a favor.  Thanks, Golden supermarkets, I would have wasted some serious college student cash on that cabbage wannabe.

2) Cloey will eat anything if you put enough salad dressing on it.  Hello, usage for the radicchio I picked out of my salad.

3) I always get what I want. Apparently. Except when I want it a lot – when I want it more than anything else.  What kind of ‘always get what you want’ is that, hmm? The lame kind, that’s right. And the very worst kind? Having the person who could give it to you telling you ‘you always get your way’, then kicking you out of their life. At least it helps you not want it anymore, I guess, huh?

4) Julianna Margulies has GREAT hair. I learned that women who have that crazy curly hair don’t want it, but man, it looks good from this side of the fence. The mildly-wavy-curly-ish-if-you-don’t-touch-it needs-straightening-if-you-want-it-to look-at-all-intentional side of the fence.

5) Any lawyer that dodges a soundbar ought to be disbarred.

6) Our favorite cake as adults is heavily influenced by what kind of cake our mothers made for our birthdays as children.

7) Just because it seems like two people are a good match on paper, it doesn’t mean they’ll like each other at all in person.

8) Unexpected reactions are addictive.  Ok, I learned that while at brunch with my lovely friend on Saturday, but I remembered today so I’m listing it under things I learned today.

Eight things. Whoever said ‘you learn something new every day’ wasn’t paying attention.  It has been a really really bad day.  But – look at what I have to show! Eight new things.  Yay me.

Can you hear me butterfly? Miles to go before you sleep

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

or – The Aftermath of a Home Invasion.

No, no one broke into my house.  My darling Dawn was here for pre-wedding festivities/sushi/pajama parties/general girly type debauchery.  She was originally planning on bringing her husband-to-be and only staying with me a few days, but for some reason he didn’t want to hang out with his fiancee’s best friends while they discussed the wedding plans of the 50% of them that are betrothed and had pillow fights in thier underwear.  Who am I to judge?

So it honestly took me a bit to get used to having her here.  I mean, my mornings are about grinding coffee and watching VH1 while I put on my running clothes.  Not exactly sleeping guest friendly.  But now I miss her!! Stupid empty red couch.  So …. what am I doing to entertain myself?

So far:
    Contemplating whether or not I can see ghosts.

Do I have any reason to believe I can? Well… no. Unless that guy outside is a ghost. Which he totally could be, since no one but his dog is looking at him right now.  So that’s the question, right? Yes, I realize he PROBABLY isn’t a ghost.  But how do I know? So now I’m entertaining myself by considering ways of touching a stranger that don’t seem completely creepy, just to make sure he’s actually there.

(looking for secret messages? get back to work. ok, fine, there is one, but you’re probably not going to find it.)

*emmanation note: does it seem like an awful lot of these were posted on the 26th?

Well do you want to fall apart? I can't stop if you can't start

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Format are breaking up.
Is it just me, or does the fact that you will never hear a new song from your favorite band feel a little like knowing you won’t get to kiss the man you love ever again? Or finding out that you’re allergic to your favorite food?  Or hearing from your best friend that she’s joining the peace corps somewhere there are no phones?

this SUCKS.

Just a regular vegan JFK lookin’ for his MackieO

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Wednesday, February 26, 2008

Reasons I’m considering becoming a vegetarian:

1) Switching from a meat intensive diet to vegetarianism is the equivalent of switching from driving a Chevy Suburban to a Toyota Camry.  From an energy consuption standpoint, of course, not a straight up pimpin’ standpoint.  My diet isn’t particularly meat intensive, but I’m thinkin’ I might be able to swing the equivalent of a switch from, oh, a big red Toyota truck to a little grey Scion xB, huh?

3) MorningStar Farms Chik’n Patties.  YUM.  Better than the real thing.

4) My dog.  Yes, this is a stretch – but I love her! She has a personality, a life, a story… and maybe a cow would too if I got to know it.

Reasons I’m considering it being a stupid idea:

1) Hamburgers.  Red Robin, Chilis, Southern Sun…. with pineapple and teriyaki, with fried onions and barbeque sauce, with cheddar and tomatoes and lettuce and lots of mayonnaise….

2) Spaghetti Carbonara.  Probably not quite the same with Veggie Bacon.  I mean, I haven’t tried and I may, but it seems unlikely.

3) I’ve never actually met a cow… and probably never will.

That’s three reasons against and three reasons for.  Not quite the landslide I was hoping for – but life seems to be like that these days (kisses Hill, I’m still on your side).

Should I give it a week?  Maybe I’ll just join the Peace Corps.  You get the moral bonus, the reduced energy consumption, and you still get to eat meat.  It’s probably wild boar jerky, but I have no doubt it’s delicious none the less.

Dear catastrophe girlfriend

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Monday, January 28, 2008

Or not. The girlfriend part, not the catastrophe part – I think I’ve got that part pretty well covered.

So, as a very sad girl today, my plan for tonight was pretty much to go to bed with a bottle of gin and not think about it until tomorrow.  However, I have since stumbled on an alternative plan which I think may beat that hands down.  Not only will it have the same effect (I will end the night drunk and depressed), it will allow me to share the sorrows of others instead of … well, you know, wallowing.

What is this brilliant plan, you ask?  The State of the Union Drinking Game, of course!
While I could go the easy way, and just drink twice every time he says ‘God’, I think I’m going a bit more political.

  • Every time Bush mentions Iran: 1 drink
  • Hamas: 1 drink
  • North Korea: 1 drink
  • Bush begins a sentence with “British Intelligence…”: Drink an entire bottle of whatever you were drinking three years ago, throw it at the TV
  • Bush mentions the people of New Orleans: Cry into your beer, then drink it.
  • Bush mentions the people of New Orleans in a positive light: Shot of bitters.
  • Bush mentions Hurricane Katrina: Tell person sitting next to you that you’ll refill their glass, leave town for a couple days.
  • Bush mentions Hurricane Katrina in a positive light: Check the label.
  • Every time Bush makes reference to a previous President’s SOTU address: 1 drink.
  • If the reference is to a Democratic President’s speech: 2 drinks.
  • To Grover Cleveland’s 1888 address: Finish the bottle.
  • Bush mentions Coretta Scott King: pour out a 40 on the curb.
  • Chris Penn: Pour out a 40, a steak, and a milkshake on the curb.
  • “Health Savings Accounts”: Enjoy the freedom to choose a drink you can’t afford.
  • Bush ends the speech with “Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?”: A billion drinks.

Thank you Wonkette.
Isn’t doing it for you? Try
this one. Better hurry, though – only half an hour left and you’re probably already several shots behind me.

Later notes – yes, have been drinking, why do you ask?  Did he just say:
“catch and release” when referring to immigrants?
“hishpanish children”?
WAIT – someone definitely just yelled boo-yah. wtf?
“whim of the gavel”? Do you think he says that to Laura at night? ‘Laura, baby, its time to obey the whim of the gavel’. She probably just laughs.
(how does sending 3000 troops to afghanistan count as bringing them home? wait, that’s real politics, and this is about binge drinking while I watch GW mispronounce words on the teevee)
I think Cheney is asleep
“nucular”? that’s three times. I think that means I have to go to the liquor store.
Did he just refer to the country of New Orleans? Seriously.
“and by ‘save these vital programs, I mean completely eviscerate them’”.  I must be watching the outtakes.

and… I’m done.