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emmanation

You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for the ‘before I got hip to wordpress’ Category

Be a mind sticker

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Saturday, January 26, 2008

 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDBJ2ktSZpI]

This is SO scary I can’t even think of what to say. It’s like body snatchers or something. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Later note. At the grocery store this afternoon, I purchased Tab energy drink. It didn’t occur to me until I got home that I was most likely brainwashed by this commercial. Just imagine what other frightening seeds it’s planted. I’ll probably start wearing horrible 80s style day dresses and asking my man if he finds me to be a mind sticker. You know, if I had one. (A man, not an 80s day dress. I probably do have one of those somewhere.)

Possibly instead of watching new AND actively seeking out old commercials, I should stop watching commercials all together. Who knows what they’ll convince me to do next? If there’s a creepy theme song associated I will apparently buy anything.

Kinda cute, kinda hot, kinda sexy, hysterically funny but not funny looking

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Let me preface this by saying Tivo is damn fabulous.  One of the distinct advantages is that the fact that television shows that start after nine are now within my grasp – where previously I would have been propping my eyelids open, I can now watch the whole thing over morning coffee or what have you..  Specially red ones in my kitchen.

That being said: who watches Scrubs at 10 pm?  I ask because of the telephone sex ads.

Oh, at first they don’t seem like sex ads – they seem like singles ads.  However, when you see them over and over again (I’ve temporarily stopped fastwording through them for research purposes), you notice three very important things:

1) They only show women.  They refer to it as a line which singles can call, but there is not a single man, tee shirt off, six pack showing, in bed, phone to his ear, waiting for my call.

2) In each ad, at least one woman says she doesn’t want to meet men on the internet because ‘it’s too hard’.

3) Later in the half hour (like I said, I’ve done extensive research), some woman will refer to ‘fantasies’ she’s had.  That she’s just dying to share. With you, single Denver man.

My conclusion?  This is phone sex!  It says ‘call for stupid women to talk about sex’.  Now, I assume that this doesn’t count as prostitution because no one is actually having sex – although some mutual masturbation is definitely implied. 

I don’t know why I’m so concerned about this.  I guess I only have two questions.  What would they do if I called and insisted on being connected to a Denver single?  Male, preferably?  And.. how much money do phone sex workers make? 

Final unrelated thoughts: Quentin Tarantino is a genius – fucked up, but a genius none the less.  And roses are beautiful

*Did you hear me butterfly? Miles to go before I sleep*

Be cool soda pop

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Friday, January 11, 2008

5 reasons why i’d like to be a private eye, other than the p-mate.

1) I could wake up whenever I wanted.  It’s a proven fact, bad guys don’t commit crimes before 10 am. That gives me time to sleep later than I do now, go to the gym, AND eat breakfast. Breakfast. It’s the most important meal of  the day you know.

2) I would have a contact in the police department who would run people through ‘the system’ for me.  This would come in especially handy for blind dates and interviews.  “Excuse me, Ms. Vice President? That man you want to hire to be my boss was arrested for public stupidity several times in the last six months.  Fyi.”  Also “Really? you’d like to go get get a drink, mr. cutie-i-met-through-a-friend? Even though you’ve had four DUIs and an illegitimate child?”

3) When you’re on a stakeout you can listen to whatever music you want AND use a

4) If Veronica Mars and Kinsey Millhone are any indicator, I will get to wear very cute clothes and (see 1) will have plenty of time to make my hair adorable.  What, you don’t think that’s important?  I’m sorry, whose blog do you think you’re reading again?

5) Four syllables. Un-der-cov-er.  Hooker? eh. Debutante? absolutely.  Prospective stolen jewelry buyer? role I was born to play. Hard ass black leather wearing chica? um yeah. Sign me up.

In summary, this is apparently my second place dream job.  Good to know, right?

Also (and I’m filing this under highly unrealistic)… could I go to high school in California?  A high school PI gets all the fun jobs – no gruesome murder, heavy on the kinky sex. And there’s the whole sunny courtyard tan thing. Love it.

Spaghetti Squash

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Sunday, November 18, 2007

So weird.

Rachel. Bilson.

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Monday, November 12, 2007

She owns a deli, in the mall, and oftens thinks about meats and cheeses.  I am slowly getting over Chuck (perhaps in self defense because the writers strike will soon affect my… well, my entire life).  However, Rachel Bilson is called Lou, has her whole life on her phone, and is my idol.  I wonder how old she is.  Ohohoh – I checked – she’s only six months younger than me.  It is entirely reasonable that I could, still, be Rachel Bilson.  Score.