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emmanation

You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for the ‘I'm a cranky brat’ Category

two more days

Monday, November 28th, 2016

Crockett is still in New York. While we were there over the holiday (oh you didn’t know? That’s cause I wrote and scheduled last Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday’s posts ahead of time because I knew I’d be traveling for 21 out of those 72 hours, cause I a smarty.) two of our nieces got very sick. Like, very physically stomach-wise unwell in the middle of the night sick. One recovered by morning and was down for toast and eggs, but the other was down with … something? Something bad and fevery.

So this afternoon I”m talking to Crockett, and he’s telling me he doesn’t feel super.

And now I don’t feel super.

I knew I didn’t feel good before, but I thought it was from eating stuffing and turkey and no vegetables that weren’t sautéed in some kind of animal fat for a week. Oh, and pie. I ate a lot of pie.

One time I ate yogurt! With cranberry sauce stirred in.

The yogurt was not enough, obviously.

Now I’m confused. Do I not feel super for the reasons I thought, or do we both not feel super because we’re sick? Or is he sick and I’m just holiday’d out? Are neither of us sick and I’m just a hypochondriac? Is it Zika?

So many choices.

Two more days. After this. 30 days in a row is a lot of days to write down things you think, you guys.

I was born in Delaware

Friday, November 18th, 2016

I was not born in Delaware, I’m just watching this show called ‘No Tomorrow’ (that’s apparently been cancelled I just found out by googling for a link) where this one guy didn’t believe in Delaware and this other guy said he was born in Delaware … it was funnier than I’m making it sound. Jokes like that are not why the show was cancelled, probably? This face is definitely not why it got cancelled.

Crockett is out, I’m watching a cancelled show, and there’s a smell in the house.

My life is just one party after another.

I can’t locate the smell. It’s got … well, it smells vaguely of … it smells like poo. Specifically, like a dog had an indoor accident, and yet. I’ve been over the house like NINE TIMES and there is NOTHING. I sniffed the dogs themselves, NOTHING. I checked my shoes. That’s right, NOTHING.

It is 100% not the candle from yesterday, although I understand why you’d think that if you read these two posts in a row.

I’m wondering if somehow Deaner distracted me and pooped in the basement? He loves the basement, but I can’t go check because see above re: Crockett being out. (I don’t go into the basement when it’s dark and Crockett isn’t here. Blame 35 years of horror movie lessons.)

Otherwise, I’m concerned that it might be my nose. Or my shirt. Or the sewer system. I’m not sure which of those is worst.

Maybe there’s no smell in Delaware.

oooookabob

Tuesday, November 15th, 2016

I’m sore.

Very sore.

FROM YOGA.

The fact that I’m so surprised says one of two things about me. A) I’ve been dramatically underestimating yoga-ites and the workout they get for quite some time, or B) I’m a gigantic baby with spaghetti for muscles and a minimal pain tolerance.

I’m going again tomorrow night, because either way, it’s a much better workout than I expected.

Yoga clothes are cute, right?

I’m the villain in my own story

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

I worked from home today! It was super (mostly).

The non-super part was calling into a meeting. I was the only one on the phone and the project team is a group of raucous, funny as shit women, and the upshot was that they talked really fast and had a lot of fun and the most I was able to interject was a laugh here and there. I likely wouldn’t have had a lot to contribute on today’s particular topic anyway, but I felt left out and like everyone thought it was lame I wasn’t there.

Important point: my company is ‘retaining great people’ and officially instituted both a work from home program and gave us unlimited* vacation next year, so being at home was sanctioned and scheduled. I am being a good employee and taking advantage of dog-hanging-out-with related perks at the same time, in other words. (So is about half my team, we each take one different day through the week.)

Probably no one thought it was lame, in truth. Probably people don’t think about where other people are at all, really? But that’s the kind of thing I always worry about. Like, someone is secretly compiling a dossier of just very slightly disappointing things I’ve done at work and one day I’ll come in and they’ll hand me a box and a list? Two glasses of wine instead of one at the work happy hour, recommended too many people for employment here, actually used the work at home policy, didn’t write an appropriately heartfelt/formal/? thank you note for the incredibly generous wedding gifts … Those are not firing offenses, and I don’t really think they are. I don’t. But also I fret, sometimes.

Today a friend from another company was telling me about two men she works with (that I know personally). I won’t say exactly what’s going on with them, but in essence they’re treating normal working hours and manager feedback like suggestions. No, not even suggestions really. It’s like they’re seniors and they’ve taken their finals, but that is not actually true!! They are still employed! And have duties! Work, doing work, actually turning out the work you’re paid for – ignoring that stuff is what gets people fired! And these guys do not worry at all apparently?! They’re definitely not looking elsewhere, they’re long timers at that company, they just … don’t fret.

It makes me very angry. Because I still feel like I should write another, better, thank you note. I need some of that not fretting**, I guess. And they could use more.

* with manager approval
** do I mean Xanax?

 

 

not throwin’ away my

Thursday, August 18th, 2016

You guys my neighbors are SO LOUD.

It’s like they’re PLAYING and ENJOYING LIFE ALL THE TIME basically.

It’s fine (said grouchily), really. I want people to be happy (said begrudgingly). I love the noise (said bitchily, which is what those first two ones meant too – but you guys knew that.)

Anyway.

We’re going to the mountains tomorrow! For two whole days! This will be the third time we’ve done it this summer, because Colorado makes that shit easy, and right now I’m trying to pack. There’s two approaches to this packing thing, as far as I’m concerned:

  • Prepare to look cute for every eventuality
  • Take one pair of pants and two shirts because that’s what’s going to get worn anyway

I’m torn. Looking cute is key, but also, it’s not like there are any surprises in store. I’m going to go for a long run Saturday morning, so those clothes are in the bag (ha). Crockett is going to pick me up from work, so by default I’ll have whatever I put on tomorrow morning. I could probably get through the whole weekend with the combo of running and work clothes, in a pinch.

Last week I basically wore pajamas on Friday, so that'll be good.

Last week I basically wore pajamas on Friday, so I’ve set an excellent precedent for vacation friendly clothes. Half of this was not allowed by our dress code.

This was a long lead-in to a dumb topic: dress codes at the office. My office technically has one. Our ‘don’t’ list is:

  • Sweatsuits (wut, srsrly. I pay a HUGE amount of attention to what people wear to work, and even our most casual person wouldn’t wear a sweatsuit. Like, matching sweatpants and sweatshirt. That’s what they mean, right? Can you buy those still, even? I feel like the last one I saw was on Amy Pohler in Mean Girls?)
  • Work out clothes (*and* if you were going to say this, WHY BOTHER WITH ‘SWEATSUIT?’)
  • Halter tops or beach wear (mmkay, I’m with ya)

And then we get fun. Also on the don’ts list:

  • Tee shirts
  • Shorts
  • Flip flops (any sandals must have rear straps)
  • Sneakers (only permissible on Fridays)

While this is a perfectly reasonable and respectable line for a company to draw, this is Boulder county. There was audible chuckling when this showed up in everyone’s inbox. My row, specifically, is full of mathematicians and I think half of them don’t own shoes that aren’t flip flops or sneakers, and tee shirts are locked in daily wear.

I was wearing cute dress shorts and open back sandals on that day, in case you were wondering. Rebel.

The thing is, no one seems to be enforcing this. Like, bosses don’t care. HR doesn’t care. Only the person who wrote the email cared? And that person might be somewhere that isn’t Boulder county? I think that person might actually be in California … and they clearly don’t know how cool my office is. V cool, is the answer to that.

If I was going to write a dress code email that no one was going to abide by, I would have made it more interesting. Like …

  • If wearing pants fancier than jeans, must have either established a pattern of non jeans wearing (2+ times/week) or must be able to provide written proof of client meeting onsite (exception for interviews, in that case creating a fake client is not only permissible but encouraged)
  • No boring socks if they’re going to be visible at any point (literally just for my entertainment)
  • No repeated wears of any non-jean/non-shoe item of clothing in any two week period (same)
  • The company will provide an anonymous voting system in which you can post prospective outfits, but if you get more than 5 thumbs up you *must* wear it within a week
  • Price and source of shoes and jewelry must be provided on request at any time
  • Going barefoot to the printer if your shoes are under your desk is totally fine
  • If two people wear the same shirt accidentally, they must switch desks for the day
  • On Fridays where the projected high temp is >90, everyone must wear either shorts, a tank top, or a goofy hat

I dunno, guys. I’ve thought it was Friday all day today. Hit me with your super fun dress code rules and don’t judge me for rambling, k? K. Love.