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You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for the ‘it's all about me’ Category

who wants to know my thoughts?

Wednesday, October 15th, 2014

I do I do! Oh, well … yes. There are many things I would like to know my real thoughts regarding, but I meant…


About new fall tv!!!

So many mixed reviews. Actually, no. Mostly terrible reviews with one that made me go hmmm, ok. Now I’ve actually watched three WHOLE episodes and: I want Amy Pond back. And John Cho is hot. I’m going to keep watching it in the hopes that Eliza will get more Amy, John Cho will get less whiny, and at one point they’re going to burst into a song about accents. Bonus points for the Paula Abdul dance class and “I think Channing Tatum would be proud of us” in the most recent episode. And extra bonus points for an Alexi Murdoch contribution to the soundtrack at a really perfect place. Damn it, I think I like this show. Thumbs up.

Marry Me
Too soon. But who am I kidding: Penny Hartz and Vinnie Van Lowe? Fuck yeah, motherfucker. I would never, ever hang out with them in real life. Penny/Annie/Casey would say something mean and even though man do I want to be the kind of girl who says ‘oh well fuck you too bitch’ and then laughs and then hugs her, I’m actually the kind of girl who gets really sad and shuts down and then cries alone later. And Vinnie/Jake/Ken probably isn’t dumb but he seems dumb so I would embarrass both of us by unnecessarily explaining things to him all the time. Thumbs up.

Manhattan Love Story
There’s something off-putting about them casting an America’s Next Top Model contestant as the leading lady. I’m sure she’s great, but it feels like they’re literally not even trying with the main female character. (I’m not sure she’s great. It’s hard to tell. So far the show is as if there are fifteen misogynistic guys in a room and one super hard working feminist who is allowed to change anything she can catch while they’re all writing as fast as they can and shoving things out the door. The men write the lines “she’s fine with it” / “theoretically women are fine with a lot of things” and the feminist manages to squeeze in “oh look it’s my favorite show, two men talking about what women think”.) Thumbs down.

I really wanted to love this! And I liked the first episode! Because Ryan Atwood! But there are two episodes queued up on Hulu and somehow I keep watching old Gilmore Girls episodes. Draw your own conclusions. Is anyone else shipping Rory and Ryan now? Thumbs down.

And returning fall TV? How is that going, oh brain of mine?

TERRIBLE. Sweeeeeetttttsss. Plus, I don’t like cranky ass Brennan, and I feel like his new buddy/agent guy is even supposed to look like Sweets. You can’t fool us. We know what Sweets looked like. Thumbs down.

Also terrible. What is happening.  All of the magic of Castle comes from smart ass Castle and mean Kate and lush Martha and naive Kevin and slutty Javier and there is literally NONE of that right now. Thumbs down.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine
All win, all the time. My predilection for  large nosed fellas doesn’t even come into it, I swear you guys. Thumbs up.

Anyone have anything bad to say about Dean or anything even vaguely Dean related? Because I will cut you. If I had telekinesis, I would force all the thumbs in the world up.

We’re batting .50, here. That’s good for baseball, right? Does TV have the same standards as baseball? The standards should be higher for tv I think. Step it up, tv.

buh bye

Tuesday, October 14th, 2014

The house that I bought all by myself is now in other hands.

Wait, let me clarify for all you correctors out there. It’s not a house, it’s a townhouse, and it hasn’t been in my hands for quite some time, because I rented it out when I moved in with Crockett. Ok, ya naysayers?

I bought it when I was 26. It was a stretch. It had a loft, and a bedroom, and a washer and dryer and a garage and…

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me and Cloey lived there. Crockett came over to eat meatballs on our second date.

I’m feeling melancholy.

(When I was younger, I learned the word melancholy from an Anne of Green Gables book and in my head I said it mel-ahn-ko-lee, with the emphasis on the second syllable. Then, for ages, I never had to say it out loud.

The first time I used it in speaking was when I was fourteen or fifteen, and I said it the way it was in my head. I had a vague idea that it had something to do with collars prior to that incident, but now I associate it almost entirely with a bunch of people who knew how to pronounce it looking at me like I was a big ol’ dummy.)

Anyway. I know it’s in good hands, and I know that moving back there wasn’t in the cards for me, but.

Bye, house.


exerting control like a motherfucker

Thursday, October 9th, 2014

I used SketchUp (awesome that it’s free but it makes me feel like a very old person because it does what I want it to do about one time out of every three and damned if I know what the difference between the working times and the non working times is) to create a perfectly measured model of my new house. Then I measured my furniture and tested it out at various locations.

My wardrobe is fine, but I chose to spend the next five weeks (the length of time before I move to wherever the hell I’m going to move to) testing the whole ‘capsule wardrobe’ concept. I’m limiting myself to 27 items of clothing and ten pairs of shoes and packing the rest.

What I’m trying to say is WHOA NELLY. I am feeling a little out of whack.

External organizing leads to internal cohesion, right?

I’m pretty sure that’s a thing.


Monday, September 1st, 2014

I went to karaoke on Saturday night.

First, I did Me and Bobby McGee, because that song is my jam, man. My lady jam.

Then, I was going for that song that goes ‘call me crazy, call me anything you want…’.


Because it’s not Crazy by Patsy Cline.

I don’t actually know Crazy by Patsy Cline. I found that out with a microphone in my hand in front of a room full of people.

I ended up calling for volunteers and this nice fellow who always had a least three songs in the queue (he liked to sing, I’m sayin’) jumped up and tried to help, but he didn’t know the fucking song either. I mean he sort of knew it, but it turns out there are parts that I sort of knew too.

It was a little rough, but I survived. The upside of karaoke is that the whole room is either a) hoping they’re next, b) hoping they’re not next, or c) trying to decide what to sing next. I’m not sure anyone but me and Mr Sure-if-there’s-an-0pen-mic-I’m-in even noticed anything.

Still. Not my finest moment.


Friday, August 22nd, 2014

Tonight after work I decided to stop and get a beer at a new brewery that’s not that far from home. I was alone, but Crockett used to stop for drinks by himself a lot and he seemed to gain a lot of friends out of it, so I figured what’s the worst that could happen. I’d spend half an hour, drink one beer, and then go home to my sweet little puppy faces.

So I get my beer and I’m wandering around trying to decide where to sit. I was originally thinking I would sit on the patio, but the furniture looked recently stained and I came from work in my very whitest of white skirts, so I hopped on a stool inside at the opposite end of an eight top from a guy with a computer. When I did it, I loosely gestured to the other seats to say ‘is it ok if I sit here’ and he said “Oh, yeah, go ahead. I don’t have this many friends. I really only have one friend.”

I smiled and looked at my phone because what? What do I do with that? Offer condolences?

His (only?) friend joined him and it turned out they are in a band, a fact I learned quickly because I heard them pitch it to the owner/booker/person who talks to bands at the brewery as ‘we do Lady Gaga with a banjo’. Apparently the owner/booker/brewery person thought that sounded swell, because they all went into a back room and Mr One Friend and his one friend left their beers on the table.

I don’t think many women would leave beers unattended like that, but that does not excuse what came next.

When Mr One Friend came back, he picked up his beer and looked right at me, and because I am a not funny dummy, I said ‘some woman came by and dropped a pill in there. That’s ok, right?’

I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THAT CAME FROM. He thought it was funny.

Then he came over and I had to talk to him and his one friend for the ten minutes it took me to finish my beer.

Turns out the band also does Marilyn Manson with a banjo, though, so at least I found that out.