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emmanation

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Archive for the ‘mawiage is what brings us together’ Category

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 24th, 2016

If I’m not stuck in the Baltimore airport, I’m in Buffalo enjoying mince pies and pinot noir with Crockett’s and his family (married people do that you know).

Hope whatever you’re doing, it’s just as great.

Love all y’all!

leaving this here

Wednesday, November 16th, 2016

screen-shot-2016-11-16-at-8-47-53-pmHey! We got our wedding pictures! (Bet you didn’t guess.)

I look very sweet and not at all like I’m giving side eye to the world.

I love this picture.

 

fuck politeness

Monday, November 14th, 2016

(I can’t remember if I’ve written about My Favorite Murder before. Is this why people use real tags instead of half thought out run on ones about the post content?)

There’s this podcast called My Favorite Murder. It’s kind of famous now, but I’ve been listening to it since close to the beginning (tosses artfully unbrushed hair over shoulder and pushes glasses up nose) and I love it. It was the impetus for me and a girlfriend to start our own podcast, actually!

(Our podcast was super famous, you wouldn’t have heard of it … but then my cohost/friend got possessed. She’s got an exorcism scheduled for the week of Thanksgiving, so perhaps at some point the podcast will return and share space with the blog.)

One of the key tenants of the MFM listeners (women, let’s be straight – they’re all women. Men don’t have the constant sense of unease that leads to an obsession with the worst things that can happen that comes with having a vagina. That’s why true crime readers/listeners are almost exclusively women which is a well known fact that I totally have a citation for) is ‘fuck politeness’. See, they have a goal of teaching the women who listen ways to be safer, and they’re fun and useful things like ‘stay sexy, don’t get murdered‘, ‘you’re in a cult, call your dad‘, and ‘stay out of the forest‘.

Also, fuck politeness.

Crockett and I know this guy. He’s a nice guy, we see him out and about in town. Lots of people we know know him, and I’m not sure they all like talking to him but no one actively avoids him.

The core of ‘fuck politeness’ is that women can easily get in trouble because we’re taught to be sweet above all else. Polite above all else. To go with the flow and not be a problem, above all else. The action of ‘fuck politeness’ is that, if something doesn’t feel good, then don’t worry about being good. It’s not our job as women to listen to men who want to carry our groceries to spend a few more minutes with us. It’s not our job to drink a drink someone bought for us without asking.

It’s not our job to be sweet.

This guy we know, he makes me uncomfortable. He’s not done anything aggressive. If anything, he’s more Elmyra Duff than Buffalo Bill (the Silence of the Lambs one, not the cowboy one). He likes me and Crockett, but tonight he saw us out with some friends and came to stand with us. He was too close, and he’s been too close too many times. I feel bad, like I’m overreacting. Everyone I know knows him! And he’s a good guy!

But also. In my head, he sort of feels like a kid who might give a puppy a bath and not understand how long that puppy can stay underwater. Does that make sense? I don’t think he means any harm, but I also don’t trust that he would know what the lines are if he found us in a position where no one else was there to help?

I don’t know, man.

I left, after a little while. I didn’t ask him to step away from me, I just backed out of the conversation.

The problem with ‘fuck politeness’ is that it sounds totally reasonable when you hear someone else explain it. “Oh, he showed up at your house to return something you don’t remember dropping, after you said no to a date? Babe, fuck politeness – say thanks and close the door on his request for a glass of water. Then call your best friend and describe his ass, just in case.” “Oh, he has a map and would really appreciate it if you’d roll down your window so he could ask for directions? Babe, let him ask a car that has someone in it that isn’t a woman alone.” Those seem medium rough, but also totally reasonable.

This guy hasn’t done anything weird. I mean, yes, he’s written a poem about me (tonight) but he thought it was based on a prompt by Crockett and he writes a lot …

I don’t know. I can’t boil this one down. He makes me edgy, and maybe that’s enough. I did say goodbye, but I left. And I might continue to leave if he shows up and stands too close to me.

Fuck politeness.

fish burps

Saturday, November 12th, 2016

I feel like someone told me once that dogs can’t burp. Is that right? Did they actually say cows and I heard dogs because if you squint cows are basically big dogs that we’re ok with eating for some reason? My dogs burp, anyway, so if they’re not supposed to be able to then maybe somebody wants to study them – hit me up in the comments and we’ll work out a price in dog cookies and beers.

I also burp kind of a lot. I don’t know if it’s more than a normal person or if normal people are just better about not doing it out loud, and it’s a hard thing to bring up in conversation. “Excuse me, ma’am, I see you’re drinking a beer. Are you silently burping when you look down towards your lap, or are you immune to delicious bubbles in your digestive system?”

I don’t cover my mouth anymore when I burp around Crockett. I used to, because it seemed sort of rude, but it’s a pain and also I think perhaps my desire to do so was informed by the differing societal expectations of men and women and my patience for that shit is rapidly converging with DOES NOT EXIST.

The thing is, Crockett doesn’t burp around me, and there are three possible reasons:

  • he’s not a natural (the ‘like I am’ was meant to be implied but it didn’t come across so I’m pointing it out you’re welcome)
  • he suppresses/subtles his burps around me to be polite in a way that has nothing to do with me being a lady, and would do it around anyone
  • etc except in a way that *does* have to do with me being a lady, and he does not and would not do such around his friends
  • or fourth he suppresses because he’s worried I won’t love him anymore I guess? but based on my burp frequency that would make him a loon so we’re discounting this one out of hand

In the name of science, I’m going to feed him a couple of Coors Light’s (high carbonation according to these experts) and sit on his lap while we watch a movie or something. Don’t worry, I’ll pay him with more beers (and dog cookies, if he wants them).

coooOOOOOOkie crisp

Friday, November 11th, 2016

I made all of the desserts for our wedding.

I like, super wanted to. The amount of control I felt that it was necessary to exert over the desserts actually seems a little crazy in retrospect, considering we turned the food over totally to a caterer (with only one tasting and forty+ emails from me). We tried really hard to give every person a lot of choices for every course, regardless of their dietary restrictions, and I’m super proud of that, but I think our caterer found it … challenging.

Actually, guys? I’m going to list what we ate, because it makes me happy and it’s my blog.

Apps (literally all gluten free):
Popchip with elk jalapeno sausage and blueberry compote (I did get to eat one!)
Samosas (Potatoes and .. I don’t know, these were vegan and I did not get to eat one :()
Cornbread with barbecue sauce and smoked salmon (I did ALSO not get to eat one)

Dinner (tortillas and buns all had GF option):
Blackened fish or korean pork kimchi taco, with sprouts and slaw and sesame seeds and pickled cucumbers
Buffalo chicken sliders with blue cheese and celery slaw
Actual buffalo sliders with cheddar cheese, onion jam, and dill pickles
Cilantro lime marinated veggie kabobs

Salad (this was controversial but based on my tastebuds turned out super delicious AND they were all easily vegan and gluten free because we were like hey don’t put anchovies in the dressing y’all that’s nuts):
Southwestern Caesar (you know, beans and corn and spicy stuff … dunno, it was super)
Tuscan Kale Caesar (just regular caesar but v tasty)
Summer salad with jicama, cherries, pears, candied pecans, and lemon thyme vinaigrette

DESSERT THAT I MADE MYSELF:
Chocolate chip cookies (vegan)
Citrus sandwich cookies with matcha buttercream filling
Graham cracker sandwich cookies with cheesecake filling (gluten free)
Chocolate pistachio meringue cookies (gluten free)

It was a pretty solid place to eat dinner, is what I’m trying to say. I ate alllll the dinner choices and … ok, to be fair. I actually don’t remember what I’ve eaten at other weddings, so people probably don’t remember our fun taco/slider bar. Therefore it’s not fair for me to say ours was the best ever, right?

😉