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emmanation

You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for the ‘other people are sometimes funny too’ Category

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Saturday, November 5th, 2016

I’m developing a strange desire to get famous.

Strange?

That’s probably not right. Fame is a not insignificant part of the American Dream right? (What’s the rule about capitalizing the Dream part of that, do we do it or not? Is it a dream with a capital D or just, like, a dream?)

I’m developing a perfectly normal for my era and background desire to get famous.

Since I’m not actually *doing* anything to make that happen, second best is when other people who are super duper get famous instead. (As long as they’re not friends of mine. Everyone one I know needs to stay exactly where they are until we can all go together – that’s reasonable and fair right? Right.)

Cases in point:

- Rachel Bloom. Were you a theater kid? Are you watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend? If yes/no, your inner stage lover is so sad and doesn’t even know it.

- Issa Rae. I’m mad the whole time I’m watching Insecure because it’s so good. (Do I need therapy?)

- Georgia Hardstark. MY FAVORITE MURDER. When someone cofounds a podcast that’s so good you basically make a new best friend based just on talking about it (true story totally happened) … there’s no good end to this sentence. Point made (including the point that my heart is SUPER in this post can you tell?)

Uh… that’s all. Medium famous women who are cool who I want to be like who totally deserve their current fame levels and more!

Good post, Emma. Nablopomo is really bringing out the best in me.

 

you can’t spell dumb without … MB?

Thursday, October 29th, 2015

My department at work shares a whole (cubicle)(taller than me but shorter than most people) wall with one of my company’s various sales departments.

That means I listen to a lot of sales calls. The things I know about the inner workings of Cakebread Vineyards, y’all.

(That ^ is a very poorly executed trick in that Cakebread is not a customer of ours as far as I know but I’m hoping that they’ll call me and offer to bribe me with wine to not tell my secrets.)(<That just ruined that whole plan.)

The sales people work their asses off. The woman immediately over the wall from me has a customer that’s particularly needy, and I hear how hard she works to meet their demands only to be presented with a new set. Nothing but respect, straight up.

Their boss is just down the hall from me, and she has a real door. On that door, someone posts an ever changing series of motivational quotes. I actually don’t think it’s her, because she travels a TON, but the effect is the same. No one who works for her can leave their area without seeing the quote of the week. I think of it the door (and apparently refer to it as you will soon see) as the inspiration door.

Today I noticed this week’s quote, and it prompted the following exchange with Crockett:

Me: is there a name for
‘there’s no i in team’
that kind of saying
Crockett: hm
aphorism?
cliche
adage
saying
Me: like specifically using language rules as a metaphor for what that language is saying?
there’s one on the inspiration door
‘you can’t have challenge without change’
which is dumb
and then I was thinking about how dumb they all are
like when the word team was developed
ha
developed
that person was not thinking ‘ahaha let’s exclude the letter that, outside this word, indicates the first person singular pronoun mwahahahahaha’
Crockett: brilliant! (Ed: still don’t know if he meant me or that theoretical language developer)
Me: “future coaches everywhere will worship me”
Crockett: I don’t know that there’s a specific word for adages/sayings that rely on the morphology/spelling of the words in them
Me: then how can I google them to find more to think are dumb?
Crockett: “I put the ‘fun’ in ‘dysfunctional’”
Me: ok I sort of like that one
Crockett: You can’t spell slaughter without laughter
ok, I googled “you can’t spell” and am looking at the suggested completions…
that’s a good strategy
Me:aaaaaa
very wise

And then we learned nothing new except ‘you can’t spell healthcare without THC’, which, get a grip, Colorado.

P.S. What do challenge and change have to do with each other? The thing that kicked this off makes it sound like challenge is something to shoot for, which I’m not fully in support of because that’s what people say after terrible things happen to them. “Oh, honey, it’s been six months since your husband died how ya holding up?” “I’m ok, you know. Every day is a new challenge.”

Basically it sounds like a threat. Sure, you wanna change something? You suuuuure? Did you know you can’t spell challenge without change? Mwahahahahaha.

 

hubba hubba

Wednesday, February 4th, 2015

Like the good friend I am, I very responsibly distributed this video to all my girlfriends the SECOND I found it.

Oh, you’d like to know what it is before you click? You savvy interneter you. It’s the Magic Mike XL trailer, otherwise known as Flashdance redux feat. Channing Tatum.

Then Star and I had a conversation about power and objectification (true and accurate).

Then we had this conversation.

Me: man alive
I’m dying over here
the perfect follow up
http://the-toast.net/2015/02/04/channing-tatum-boyfriend/
Star: OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I want channing tatum to be my boyfriend for all of those reasons
Me: 
“while welding at you”
I just watched his wife in a lifetime movie this weekend
they seem so adorable
Star: They are so cute
I want them to take me on as their sister wife
Me: awwwww
or neighbors, maybe
I would rather not have channing than share channing
it’s good that I’ve decided that, don’t you think?
so that when it comes up I won’t have to waste precious time thinking about it

I should have titled this post ‘today in realism’.

 

band WAGGIN’

Thursday, August 28th, 2014

You’ve seen it. I’ve seen it. We’ve all seen it and and we’re all shocked by its origins, right?

should-you-catcall-her

via Playboy – click on the image to visit the original site but be aware it is a playboy url, so use discretion if at work

Playboy knocking it out of the park.

It’s still objectifying. I could definitely live without the silhouettes at the top, for example, and some of the statements could have been worded differently. (For the ‘banging booty’ one, insert ‘are there parts of her body that you find are of a shape that traditionally appeals to the male gaze …’ ok, yeah, not catchy). And for the sexually frustrated one, the answers give the two choices as ‘no because am having sex’ or ‘yes am a harasser’, when there is in fact a perfectly good third option which is no I am not currently having sex but I will still not be aiming my sex wants at strangers.

Small complaints.

My absolute favorite part, though, is the verging-on confusion that comes across in the answers in the respectful, appropriate path. In the ‘is she dressed up real nice’ box, the font implies a greasy guy saying ‘reeeeeel nice’ and possibly making hand gestures at the same time (to me at least), and the appropriate guy is like um I guess? She’s probably got a meeting or something? Cracks me up.

Whoever’s idea this was, love it. Still not going to the all new and improved (not a playboy link) playboy.com, but, you know, good job, guys. Language of the playboy reader, message of a woman walking down the street just trying to live her life.

gooooooOOOOO SPORTS

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

Today my office played the USA vs Germany  game in the cafeteria. I went down there and there were probably twenty people watching the game (400 person office, 10% of whom are traveling at any given time, not a terrible turnout) but they all had their laptops and I don’t have a laptop so I went back to my desk.

(I’m not important enough to have a laptop yet. Maybe someday. I’m currently writing my performance summary for the first four months of my employment and not having a laptop hasn’t come up. I do have two monitors though!)

Crockett IM’d me from a restaurant downtown that opened for the game. He keeps trying to get me to write about the ridiculous people who embrace soccer here in an irritating way, but I have no idea what to say because I’m not really following the whole thing. I’ll just tell you what he said instead and get it out of the way.

Crockett: There was one of those fans there, that I talk about. He led the bar in two songs and/or chants.
And was wearing a scarf
Emma: of course he was
Crockett: That kind of nationalism is what start world wars.
Emma: :D
he was a USA fan, yes?
Crockett: yes
oh man, can you imagine someone trying to catalyze German nationalism in a bar??
That, empirically, can start a world war

There you go. World war. Because of soccer. Crockett says so.