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emmanation

You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Archive for the ‘really really good drawings’ Category

Ask Emma

Monday, September 13th, 2010

It’s that time again. That time when I answer questions. There’s a teeny tiny kink this week in that no one sent me any (let’s recitfy that, shall we? emmanationblog at gmail.com pleez and thank you), but fortunately as residents of the land of plenty, we have lots of other options.

My personal favorite is also the one site that can make me lose faith in the human race in the shortest length of time, so this is a win-win. (How is losing faith in humanity a win? I have no idea. It’s 7:30 in the morning. Cut me some slack.) Which site? Yahoo Answers, of course! Sure, they’re not asking me specifically, but they’re asking!

“Dear Emma”,

Why does Enrique Iglesias talk “different”?

Mama de Hayzea y Cruz

Dear Mama,

English is not his first language. It’s called an ‘accent’, and it happens when… you’re speaking a language that isn’t your first language and little bits of pronunciation and stuff sneak in from whatever language you started with. It also happens when you’re from Michigan, Canada, or the southern United States, even though those people technically started off speaking English. I know, it can be very confusing.
Speaking of confusing, you seem to have given your children Spanish or Latin names. That makes me think that perhaps you are not a native English speaker yourself. Which makes me wonder if perhaps you mean why does Enrique talk ‘different’ when he’s speaking Spanish, in which case hopefully someone else on yahoo can help you because I can’t.
Also, are you calling him gay? It sorts sounds like you’re calling him gay. In which case I’m not sure why he’s banging that tennis player.
I’m more confused than when I started and I’m supposed to have the answers here. This is why I hate Yahoo Answers.

Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias.

Well aren't you pretty.

Love, Emma

“Dear Emma”,

Does anyone know where i can purchase or view a decent quality map of the universe???
Ps, please don’t ask why or give any stupid answers
thank you.

Chris

Dear Chris,

You kinda tied my hands there with that P.S.
First of all, all of my answers are stupid.
Second, if I can’t ask why, then how am I to recommend a source? For example, if you’re helping someone do a kindergarten science project, then this will probably do:

this is exactly how the universe looks

However, if you’re planning a trip of some kind, that’s clearly not going to cut it. In that case, I recommend that you contact whoever it is that you’re going to visit. As far as I can tell, my drawing is only about one degree less accurate than what NASA knows, so even if you get the best map in the world you’re still going to get lost on your way to your intergalactic mixer. Hell, didn’t they include a map in the evite? Aliens, man.

Love, Emma

happy friday y’all

Friday, September 10th, 2010

Ignite Boulder

Thursday, August 26th, 2010

We had our rehearsal last night.

Everyone was fabulous. If you’re coming (tickets here hint oh-so-subtle hint) you’re going to really enjoy yourself.

The best part, though? How much braver they made me.

The reality:

How they made me feel:

I have been close to withdrawing several times – school is a little overwhelming and speaking to 1300 people in 7 days isn’t exactly helping to alleviate that. However, do you SEE the crown? I can’t not do it. They made me a ‘you’re cool’ crown. An imaginary one. In my head and nowhere else. But still. A crown.

what does ‘placed at a crime scene mean?’

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

It sounds to me like something is put down in the place where a crime was committed, but that doesn’t make very much sense. If your car was ‘placed at a crime scene’, doesn’t that sound like the cops borrowed it, drove it over to the scene, lifted up the yellow tape, and gently parked your car above the ajar pothole that was used to get into the sewer where the tunnel into the bank vault had been dug?

The only time I’ve been the victim of a crime was this time in high school when someone broke into my 1983 Audi, took my Rent CD OUT of my CD player, and then stole the CD player and the rest of my CDs.

Otherwise known as the day that my stuff was stolen and my musical tastes were harshly, harshly judged.

Other than that occasion, crime in my head is always very heist-like. There are always black outfits and expensive tools, sexy co-criminals and evil targets. When I hear about thieves, I always picture them leaning over a drafting table in the corner of a dimly lit warehouse, planning entry points and exit routes.

Clearly, this isn’t the most accurate version of things, but it’s the one I prefer.

Also?

It’s the kind of thief I’d like to be.

P.S. I know that The Road More Travelled, which I have been pimping like mad, isn’t working. We’re trying to figure it out REALLY HARD. If you don’t believe me, ask GoDaddy – I spoke to them 6 times yesterday. I have the menu options memorized. I will make it work.

well hello there

Friday, July 16th, 2010

While I have been vacation going/job quitting/school studying/company starting, I’ve picked up quit a few new readers.

I don’t know where you came from, but I love you more than you can possibly know. If you need anything, call me. Liver? (Wait… which one do I have two of? Kidney?) Whichever organ I have two of, you can have one.

That’s how much I love you.

Just so you know EXACTLY what you get from emma-nation, though, I’ve made you some pictures. Print them out small and stick them in your wallet, print them out huge and hang them on your wall, get them tattooed on your ass, whatever. I don’t judge. (That’s a lie, I judge all the time. I judge like I’m being paid for it. But I won’t judge YOU, obviously.)

For when you’re feeling blue:

emma-nation: because we can't all stare longingly at the ocean

For ANYTIME. EVER:

For when you’re feeling intellectual:

emma-nation: you want meta? I'll give you meta.

Also, don’t forget The Road More Travelled, a new collaborative quarter-life-crisis we’re-doing-good-just-by-making-it-through-the-day blog. It’s so new there aren’t any posts yet, but we’ll be up and running daily starting Monday. It’s less about shit-that-happens-to-Emma and more about growing up, having thoughts, stuff like that. Thoughts: everyone has them. Well, mostly.

For when you’re feeling snarky:

The Road More Travelled: Because really, what have YOU done with YOUR life that's so great?For when you want to know you’re not alone in thinking that regular everyday things are kind of cool:

The Road More Travelled: Because sometimes? Growing your own cauliflower is exciting enough.For when you really just want another cocktail:

The Road More Travelled: Beer bellies for all!

And finally, if you feel like looking at pictures of food (and who doesn’t, amirite?), you can always head over to my sad little love child of a blog Mangled Baby Duck.

Mangled Baby Duck: Because my foot is sexy.No, my sexy foot doesn’t have anything to do with it being a food blog. Neither does the title, for that matter. What do you people expect from me?? God, you’re so demanding sometimes.

That’s it, I’m taking my kidney back.