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emmanation

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Archive for the ‘turns out I'm a feminist’ Category

and I think it’s kind of sad

Sunday, November 13th, 2016

(Crazy Ex-Girlfriend season 2 episode 4 spoilers abound.)

Crockett and I were out grabbing dinner earlier, and I remembered something and turned to him and banged on his shoulder.

“Oh oh oh! I forgot to tell you! Paula got an abortion in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend!”

“Oh,” sad face Crockett.

“No, it was good!”

Confused face Crockett.

“See, she’s an adult woman with two teenage kids and she just got into law school, and she thought she couldn’t get an abortion but it also wasn’t a baby she and her (bumbling but cute) husband were trying for, so she did end up doing it! It was the right decision!”

“Ok .. is it a big deal?”

“NO! They made it the B plot even! It was about the same as her law school application process, importance wise!”

I did speak with a lot of exclamation points, I’m not exaggerating. It was a beautiful, realistic, low key representation of a process that millions of families go through.

When Paula was at home in bed afterwards, her husband told her he was going to make her dinner but because he knew his limits he’d order a pizza instead and it was very sweet. See, earlier in the episode he’d tried to feed the family raw chicken. Then when Paula’s best friend (who didn’t know about the pregnancy or it’s end) came over, Paula cried a little and didn’t tell her what had happened, she just said she didn’t feel well. It hurt her, physically and emotionally, there was no doubt about it, so much so that she wasn’t able to talk about it  - it wasn’t brushed off, but it wasn’t a decision that was sanctified either.

It’s not a position I’ve found myself in, but this feels like a home truth real life way this could go down, and it came with literally zero judgement in any way from any character, and it was the B PLOT. I LOVED IT SO MUCH, and I’m sad that I’m so happy it was so meaningful.

Something like 1 in 5 women will have an abortion. That’s virtually half the number of women who will be diagnosed with some form of cancer throughout their lifetime. We talk about cancer ALL THE TIME. Yet the representation of the women who get abortions is almost nil.

Whatever – I loved Crazy Ex-Girlfriend from the first, but it just keeps getting better. Rebecca Bloom FOREVER.

 

admire with me, would you

Wednesday, November 9th, 2016

This dress:

cewooldress

It is black. For mourning.

It’s made of wool and linen. Natural fibers that come from the earth, and probably won’t be available in ten years (a week) because someone doesn’t believe in global warming and wants us to not pass go and go straight to Mad Max land.

It’s got thumb holes for coziness, which is an excellent secret way to feel like one is wrapping oneself up in a blanket on the couch while still being out in the world.

In short, it’s the post-Hillary dress.

The post-Trump outfit OBVIOUSLY looked like this, in case you’re wondering:

burgandysuit

 

Ok, off to drink myself into oblivion.

(Not really, but I have said that several times today. Out loud. And half meant it.)

(Yes, this whole thing was dramatic but not entirely kidding because WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED to a day I was so, so excited about? I can’t write about it, I don’t have anything to say that isn’t being said by wiser minds all over the internet.)

I’m with her

Monday, November 7th, 2016

I always have been. I thought she was a better choice than Obama approximately 1000 years ago. I might have been wrong, since the Obama’s administration has been pretty fucking solid, but she might have had the same opportunities and made the same choices.

I’m so, so scared. I mentioned I’ve been crying, right? About politics? Endlessly? The Rachel Bloom video makes me cry. The FiveThirtyEight election forecast page makes me cry. Our Colorado end of life proposition makes me sob like a bad actress in a bad romantic comedy (that is to say, at an unbelievable level).

I’m having a hard time mustering up a lot of concern for most of my local initiatives, honestly, and it’s probably like that in a lot of places. I did research and vote all of them (except the tax ones, I mostly just vote yes when they ask if I want to pay more taxes (<- not a joke)), but I’ve forgotten about most but 106 (end of life). Oh, and the single-payer healthcare thing. That’ll be interesting. And the minimum wage hike, actually? Ok, fine, I’m concerned about all of these things (and in favor of them).

But mostly I’m concerned that a woman who should be in the middle of a trailblazing, history making, well deserved run for the presidency is actually surrounded by the still burning dumpster fire remains of our national political process.

How did we get here? How did we as a country land in a place where a man who is openly misogynist and racist as the TIP OF HIS TERRIBLE ROTTEN ICEBERG is being lauded, if even if mostly in small but loud communities? It doesn’t look like he’s going to win, but, you know. Brexit. Polling error. A 1/3 chance of Hillary losing to him (as of this writing) is about twice her odds of losing Russian roulette, if she decided to go that way.

Anyway. I’d be with her no matter what. This whole ‘it’ll be politics as usual’ complaint is fucking fine, especially if those politics are the ones we’ve had for the last eight years. But considering her opponent is a man who is actively making the world worse just by opening his mouth in public

Holy wow am I with her.

 

dogs aren’t babies we all read NY magazine

Thursday, November 3rd, 2016

We were car shopping this evening, and our salesman would not stfu about babies.

For real.

(Our cars are fiiiiiine, just one of them doesn’t move so well and hasn’t since June, ndb.)

Backstory: our salesman was adorable, and Irish (what up totally undeserved by me brother!), and very very very shamelessly self promotional. “Our Yelp page is basically only reviews of me.” Also: “Oh, look at this picture of my 20 month old!”, he says, handing me his phone where there was a indisputably cute picture of a baby. “He just got mad at my wife because the sour cream on his macaroni and cheese isn’t yogurt!”

“Cute”, I tell him.

He read the room, and asked if we had dogs.

He was prepping for a pitch on the leather replacement package, ya know. If we weren’t going to respond to baby puke, we’d respond to unclipped nails.

The thing is, at some point after that I mentioned we were recently married and then he went the way a surprising-not-surprising amount of people have gone (since the wedding THREE AND A HALF WEEKS AGO (Oct 9th future Emma in case you’re referencing this post to help you remember your anniversary, don’t tell Crockett)): joke-not-joking about when we were going to have babies.

“When you have a kid, you can put this side down … oh right, I mean your dogs,” and then a wink.

“The leather can stand up to a lot, but spilt formula … or spilled groceries, for you,” and then a wink.

(These were not actual winks. He didn’t drop one eyelid while looking at us, because no one good does that anymore. Only bads. Write that down. Nice people you know can wink at you in a cute way, but strangers (particularly of the sales variety) are no longer allowed to wink. It’s gross. You’re a bad if you do that. These were spiritual winks.)

Crockett didn’t even notice. I’m talking to him as I write this, and he’s genuinely confused. He remembers the comments (there were more than listed above), but has no sense that they were assumptive. Pervasive. Patriarchal.

So.

Am I so prepared for people to start asking about babies that I’m seeing that shit everywhere? Or was he trying to sell a couple he perceived as being in the baby zone? Or was the baby zone a straight up assumption that I really will have to deal with 4-ev-er?

(post referenced in title)

 

flip and rewind

Tuesday, January 12th, 2016

So I super wanted to write about this young woman who posted a petition on Change.org asking stores like Forever 21 and Urban Outfitters to stop selling “inappropriate” clothing, but it took me forever to find the link and I’m tired so … maybe tomorrow I’ll have a fully thought out response. In case I don’t get to it, though, in summary: Petition writer, there is a point in the life of every woman (or should be) when she realizes that policing other women with regards to their obedience to patriarchal guidelines does none of us any good. Therefore, you should shop at the many stores that sell things that you want to wear, and then wear those things. AND, you should let other young women shop where and wear what they want to wear.

(To be clear, she is well spoken and I get that she’s excited about defending something she feels strongly about, and that’s beautiful. I wish I’d been so brave at fifteen. However, when she says things like “I and girls everywhere want to be able to be trendy and classy, modest but stylish,” and “clothes currently being released by beloved brands for girls tear away the innocence we deserve to treasure, and while we should look classy, young, and beautiful, we instead come across as cheap,” she’s undermining the women her age who chose to wear those ‘cheap’ clothes. She HAS choices that meet her needs, they’re in stores everywhere. The text of the petition has a very ‘you evil stores are making us into bad girls but we’re good girls’ undertone. That’s problematic for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that telling young women that good girls are modest is a huge part of rape culture. Oh, and of this.)