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emmanation

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Archive for the ‘whoops’ Category

if you build it

Tuesday, November 7th, 2017

When I was a kid, my parents took us up to vacation in Breckenridge a couple of times. (Until Crockett and I got a condo in Breck, I thought the location of those childhood vacations had been Steamboat Springs for no apparent reason, but that’s neither here nor there.)

One of those vacations, we went to see Little Shop of Horrors at the Breck local theater.

I love that play so very much.

The man who played Seymour (main LSoH guy) also played Kevin Costner’s ghost dad in Field of Dreams. His name is Dwier Brown, and what he was doing in Breck, CO, is totally unclear – this would have been a little after the movie came out, so maybe he had some time to kill before his next things started? I have a program floating around that confirms it was him. He was great in the show, obviously, and afterwards my mom introduced me to him in the lobby and told him I wanted to be an actress.

He was super in real life too.

I was 12 or 13.

He asked me what I was doing as an actress (being a local yokel in the high school production of ‘Lil Abner, but I didn’t tell him that), what I wanted to do going forward (follow him to Hollywood, but I didn’t tell him that), and what my favorite play was (Little Shop of Horrors from that second and forever, but I didn’t tell him that – also, Grease). He verbally patted me on the head and wished me luck, and I left starstruck and convinced I’d missed my big chance. If I’d been clearer, more verbose, more like the woman I was inside (oh, 13 year old girls, I remember being us and man did that shit suck), he would have seen my potential. He would have introduced me to his agent! Adopted me! Married me! (Again – 13. Sucks.)

Anyway, I don’t know what he’s done since. It took  me a few years, but I realized that meeting a minor but hugely memorable movie actor doing local theater (as a favor? again, no idea) couldn’t have changed my life.

I still think of him every time someone references that movie, though, and man, he was a good guy. I just adore him for being so kind that a young woman *could* get so damn confused.  He’s made grown men all over the world cry for coming up on 30 years, and I will never forget meeting him. Dwier Brown is a pretty cool dude.

rejected posts

Saturday, November 4th, 2017

I just went through my WordPress drafts folder, to see if I had anything ok I could repurpose to take off some of the nablopomo stress. (I’m not stressed *yet*, but check in with me on Nov 22 when I’m prepping a full thanksgiving dinner for me and my mom and dad and possibly my friend and her fella and I realize at 10 pm that I haven’t written anything and might fail this arbitrary goal I’ve set for myself.)

There were no diamonds in the rough. There were a few things that were pretty good, but hadn’t been published for a reason – like, emotional stuff? More therapist appropriate, less blog reader appropriate.

There were ALSO 19 posts that I deleted completely out of hand, going back to 2010. Some of these were just titles (and not good titles, so why did you save them, old Emma?), and the ones that weren’t just titles probably should have been:

  • leap this, buddy (a partial review of the movie Leap Year)
  • priorities, priorities (empty)
  • dirrrty (empty but I’m assuming it was about Christina A or the dogs after the dog park)
  • I don’t know what that means (there is no post that could have made this a good title)
  • work (what could I possibly have been intending for this?)
  • making whoopie (this was about tv show sex)
  • when this shows up in (empty)
  • hot blooded (empty)
  • Lovin’ Lubec (this one had two lines about how I’m obsessed with Lubec, Maine, which I would swear right now is a town I’ve literally never heard of)
  • things for this week (nothing good at all)
  • childless (a single sentence about a bbq)
  • turn and face the (empty)
  • it’s for your own good (empty)
  • PIE HOLE CLOSED (Matt Damon. Seriously, this one was about Matt Damon.)
  • one way or another (deeply, deeply self pitying)
  • new american cool girl (actually … I might resurrect this. If I do, pretend this post never happened.)

Having a blog for a really long time can make you feel pretty weird about yourself, guys.

as cool as I am

Tuesday, October 31st, 2017

Tomorrow is the first day of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo, say it, it’s fun!), and National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo, also very pleasing when enunciated). (I’m not actually sure NaBloPoMo is still a thing because potentially blogging isn’t still a thing, but we gotta leave that for now because I’m writing a blog post every day for the next month either way and I need SOMETHING to talk about.)

I’m doing both. I need to get the fuck off Instagram, if nothing else.

Brace yourself (she says to herself, when facing the prospect of an average of 2000+ words a day for the next 30 days).

nawhatnow?

Sunday, November 1st, 2015

Three weeks ago, I made this pumpkin spice latte recipe. I made a whole can o’ pumpkin worth of mix, then put it in the fridge and heated some up with cashew milk and then added it to my coffee every damn morning.

It is fucking. Delicious.

(I used less sugar and made my own pumpkin spice mix but with like 1/3 as much cinnamon because cinnamon is the stupidest spice (with the exception of black pepper, which I like fine, except for how it’s in every recipe like salt – pepper is not like salt, people, pepper is a spice) and who am I to overwhelm my delicious lattes with the second stupidest spice. I am aware that the linked recipe includes black pepper and I basically just pretended that line was a funny inside joke between me and the author.)

Then two weeks ago I did the same thing, except that time I added some cayenne. It was brilliant. (Just a teeny pinchy pinch, guys, this is a morning drink.)

Then ONE week ago I was like whooop well time to make that fun mix I’m going to drink every day until I die and I went to my cabinet for pumpkin and there was none.

Zero pumpkin.

AND I’d just heard about the pumpkin shortage. The linked article has sound because CNN is the cinnamon of the news world, but the important line is, “That means when stores sell out, they’ll likely be out until next year’s harvest.”

Needless to say I went on a pumpkin hunt. I came back with nine 15 oz cans, two 28 oz cans, and two 15 oz boxes (thanks for being nonconformist Whole Foods!).

I have enough for lattes through my birthday, assuming I don’t get tired of them or decide to sacrifice a can or two to a dessert at some point.

The point of that story that sometimes, I think to myself … well, I if I’m in, I might as well be all in, right?

The relevance moving forward of that point is that: I’m going to try to do National Novel Writing Month and National Blog Posting Month. It will be like some terrible, look-at-a-computer-all-day and then look-at-a-computer-all-night kind of bootcamp. Right? Right.

 

 

kah-WEEEEEEN ah-man

Thursday, January 29th, 2015

I bought a mixer and now I HAVE to use it, right? So I’m making kouign amann. Which it turns out only uses the mixer for like five minutes and then requires approximately 100 minutes of shoulder intensive rolling. Good plan, Emma, good plan.

I’m going to take the finished product to work in the morning, and I hope that it’s going to counteract something that happened today.

See, here’s the thing. Darling Crockett (YES we hang out all the time NO I don’t know what it means) got me these really fun travel books for my birthday. They’re the ’36 hours in’ books from the NY Times for Europe and the West Coast of the US and Canada, and they’re full of pictures and teeny tiny itineraries, which I just love. They make it very easy to imagine ‘well if I were to stop by Dublin for a weekend, I’d…’. So I had the books in my cube and Coastie came by, and then my super fun tall conspiracy theorist coworker who I can’t remember if I made a nickname for came by, and then another guy who definitely doesn’t have a nickname but is very nice squeezed in, and then our boss brought over her donut and settled in for a chat, and then her peer joined her.

Keeping track? Three coworkers and two bosses and me. In my cubicle, which I think is like one and a half feet by three feet.

Roughly.

So we’re chatting about the travel books and them I’m showing everyone the instagram picture of my new mixer (see above) and then asking if they know where I can find a

  • Member of the clergy
  • Medical Doctor
  • School Principal
  • Bank Manager
  • Solicitor/Lawyer
  • Police Officer or
  • Magistrate/Judge

who knows someone who knows me (Irish citizenship whoohooo) and yet another coworker stops by and says what’s happening here?

And I say jokingly,

“Oh, I’m just holding court.”

WHICH (to be fair) IS EXACTLY WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

Because I am loud and extroverted and no one else on my team is. That is why. That is a good reason. I feel like an idiot so I’m try to justify my loud mouth, can you tell?

AND THEY ALL CAME TO ME.

I’m sorry, that was too many capital letters. But seriously, they all came to my cube unbidden to hang out and catch up and then, when I said the thing about me basically being queen, they all looked askance. ‘Well she thinks she’s very special doesn’t she’ I bet they thought.

I am stupid and terrible and I am not the queen. Ok, fine. I am the queen. I am queen of the nerds and it is a position I am proud to hold.

Which I guess makes the kouign amann my let them eat cake moment.

That worked out, right?

(Also from Crockett – an Easy Tiger tote bag. Guy knows me, can’t lie.)