Image 01


You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Posts Tagged ‘commercials’

Oh oh, I really wanted that thing

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Saturday, August 4, 2008

The ‘I’m a PC commercials’ give me goosebumps. The mac commercials were starting to strike me as so.. smug, kinda. You know? The PC has progressed from this sorta goofy guy you could laugh at and relate to to this ridiculous, trick playing, fake crown wearing, pizza box hiding…. I could go on but the point is they’ve crossed the line. I no longer support the commercials.
And in as much as I love my iPhone (her name is Baby), I’m a little bummed at Apple.  Therefore, the PC commercials make me smile awfully big. Cause, you know, I’m a PC.

Be a mind sticker

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Saturday, January 26, 2008



This is SO scary I can’t even think of what to say. It’s like body snatchers or something. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Later note. At the grocery store this afternoon, I purchased Tab energy drink. It didn’t occur to me until I got home that I was most likely brainwashed by this commercial. Just imagine what other frightening seeds it’s planted. I’ll probably start wearing horrible 80s style day dresses and asking my man if he finds me to be a mind sticker. You know, if I had one. (A man, not an 80s day dress. I probably do have one of those somewhere.)

Possibly instead of watching new AND actively seeking out old commercials, I should stop watching commercials all together. Who knows what they’ll convince me to do next? If there’s a creepy theme song associated I will apparently buy anything.

Kinda cute, kinda hot, kinda sexy, hysterically funny but not funny looking

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Let me preface this by saying Tivo is damn fabulous.  One of the distinct advantages is that the fact that television shows that start after nine are now within my grasp – where previously I would have been propping my eyelids open, I can now watch the whole thing over morning coffee or what have you..  Specially red ones in my kitchen.

That being said: who watches Scrubs at 10 pm?  I ask because of the telephone sex ads.

Oh, at first they don’t seem like sex ads – they seem like singles ads.  However, when you see them over and over again (I’ve temporarily stopped fastwording through them for research purposes), you notice three very important things:

1) They only show women.  They refer to it as a line which singles can call, but there is not a single man, tee shirt off, six pack showing, in bed, phone to his ear, waiting for my call.

2) In each ad, at least one woman says she doesn’t want to meet men on the internet because ‘it’s too hard’.

3) Later in the half hour (like I said, I’ve done extensive research), some woman will refer to ‘fantasies’ she’s had.  That she’s just dying to share. With you, single Denver man.

My conclusion?  This is phone sex!  It says ‘call for stupid women to talk about sex’.  Now, I assume that this doesn’t count as prostitution because no one is actually having sex – although some mutual masturbation is definitely implied. 

I don’t know why I’m so concerned about this.  I guess I only have two questions.  What would they do if I called and insisted on being connected to a Denver single?  Male, preferably?  And.. how much money do phone sex workers make? 

Final unrelated thoughts: Quentin Tarantino is a genius – fucked up, but a genius none the less.  And roses are beautiful

*Did you hear me butterfly? Miles to go before I sleep*

Thoughts while watching S.W.A.T.

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Thursday, August 30, 2007

1) I love this girl…. what’s her name… the Girl Fight girl.  Why on earth would she sleep with Colin Farrell? I mean, she hasn’t yet, but you can tell she will, and everyone knows he’s a whore.  

2) Nobody cares if the boring white Lothario guy gets shot.  He got shot with a paint gun, but smart money is on him getting shot for real later in the game.  There was some definite foreshadowing.  Plus, he just had to take a poorly timed bathroom break due to nerves.  If that’s not an indication of impending doom, I don’t know what is.

3) Why did I make so much pasta salad?!? It’s a commercial break, and I’m eating this (delicious) ricotta pasta salad for the FOURTH MEAL in a row.  Did it not occur to me when I dumped an entire bag of organic whole wheat penne into the water that I’m kind of little and would be eating pasta for a week? 

4) What kind of international criminal mastermind comes to one of the twelve countries which holds a warrant for his arrest?  Especially if that country is America?  Dude – have you read the news lately? We can do anything we want. Fuckin’ A, we’re gonna sent the SWAT team after you..

5) I do not speak in code enough.  Checkpoint 2, roger that, code 74, etc.  I wonder if I develop one and publish it if people will start using it.  Code 1 means please pour me another glass of this delicious 2004 Bordeaux I happen to be drinking.  Cloey – code 1.  Hmm… didn’t work.

6) Boring white Lothario just got shot, much to my NON surprise.  However, he was shot while hijacking the 100 million dollar prisoner.  Way to grow some balls  boring guy!

7) “What are they going to do, take the subway all the way to Mexico?

8)  Commercials suck.  Please see my previous Netflix post.  I wonder if I can link to it. Let’s  try.

9) Maybe I’m not paying close enough attention… why are there booby traps in the sewers?

10) The Killers are playing at the Fox on Monday! Katie is going to try and get tickets!  See what commercials do? They distract me from the purpose of my blog! 

11) Can you land an airplane on the 6th St Bridge? It seems like there would be wires and stuff in the way. 

12) Step one: plan a hundred million dollar hijacking.  Step two: realize that your ex-partner (cop wise, not same sex couple wise) is on the SWAT team that will be your primary opposition.  Step three: quit!!! Ok, you didn’t quit?  Then… Step three: engage in hand to hand combat with aforementioned ex-partner and lose, only to get run over by a train.  Anyone could have seen that coming.

Stupid netflix stupid mutter mutter

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Saturday, March 17, 2007

I was at lunch last week with a couple of my friends, and we were talking about netflixing television shows.  A couple of months ago when I was watching Sex and the City I had this rant about how it was ruining my life:
The men I met weren’t as hot
My stories didn’t end as neatly
My friends (and I love you, but you don’t have script writers) weren’t as witty
My shoes are certainly subpar
I found myself discontent with my day to day existence, and when I finished those damn shows it was like ending a relationship that you’ve wanted out of for weeks.  I loved them and couldn’t say goodbye, but oh! the sense of relief.  I blamed it on the SitC phenomenon, right? Everyone kind of felt that way.

So then I started watching Firefly. 
My boss wasn’t as devoted to me (or as hot, for that matter)
My job never included disguises or adventures
Again, my friends weren’t as witty
etc etc

Now I’m watching the OC.  Oh dear lord.  When I realized that I’d finished the last disk I had in house and wouldn’t see more for three days I almost had a teeny tiny panic attack.  That is no good, no good at all.

So for the theory.  When these shows are on TV, they come on once a week in a best case scenario, with quite a few multiple week breaks over the course of a season.  Writers, producers, actors – they have to make you care soooo much that a week or a month later you’ll remember to turn on the television to find out what happened. 

These shows, all good shows, were never meant to be watched all at once.   It’s like television heroin, people. It’s just too good.

And on a ’emma is exeptionally dumb’ note, what I’m doing while I wait for my next OC disk? Reading all six Harry Potter books.  In order, no breaks… and just so you know, my friends aren’t as witty as Hermione either.