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emmanation

You like me! Of course, you probably don't know me very well.

Posts Tagged ‘jesus christ I’m a huge baby’

Poooooor me

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

Let me preface this by saying this whole thing is a metaphor. Analogy. Whatever- I have one boyfriend and I like him.

Imagine that you are in love with two men. Or women. One of them is someone you used to be with, awhile ago. You had your problems but when it was good it was fantastic. You broke up, though, because you thought you needed something new. A different direction. Your new (wo)man is good for you. Consistent. Even relaxing.

Then your old love returns, and says ‘I’ve fixed a lot of what you hated- please come back’.

You torture yourself. Did you give your new love a chance? Sure, you don’t really see a future with your new love, but are you just allowing yourself to be blinded by the passion you used to feel?

You decide. You’re going back. It’s what you want… you think.

Then your old love says ‘ok, great – just hold on a couple of days. We’ll totally be together, just let me work a few things out.’

You, being practical, continue to see your new love while you wait – you don’t want to end up alone! – but whatever magic there was is rapidly fading.

SIGH.

In order to understand what the fuck I’m talking about, do this: For ‘old love’, insert ‘work’. For ‘new love’, insert ‘school’. For ‘passion’, insert ‘paycheck’.

For SIGH, insert ‘oh bloody hell, can I please please please just know what I’m doing next week? If I should be doing my homework? If I have money to spend?’

Arg.

Also. I know I’m lucky to have a choice at all, and even luckier that both choices are good. Sadly, that doesn’t make the whole thing less frustrating.