Yesterday a sweet friend of mine was at a fantasy football draft and some jackass made her feel bad.
Here’s how it went down. They were all drinking beer, making their picks, etc, and he started spouting off about the hotness of the women that he would like to … ‘get with’. (Of course I’m not above much cruder words, but I want to use them when I want to use them, not when some cuntrocket used them.) Then, just so everyone was aware, he very specifically said that he would never sleep with a woman who weighed more than 110 pounds. Because that would just be gross.
Apparently the background is that he’s very into MMA and he finds that kind of very strong, very low body fat woman attractive. Why the hell not? They look good and they work really hard. Admire them, want to bone them, whatever. We like what we like and when it’s based in reasonable admiration for an appropriate (i.e. non-exploited) target, then carry on.
Where his thought process fell apart is in trying to assign an upper weight limit.
A) THOSE WOMEN DO NOT ALL WEIGH THAT LITTLE. A few minutes of idle googling can tell you that if your eyeballs cannot, but they are strong, solidly built women. The lightest MMA class for women is the ‘atomweight‘ class, and the women in that class are at the top end of it. The other four classes are all heavier. So if he really means his upper limit is 110 lbs, then he’s limiting himself to one tiny part of the MMA world. I don’t know him, but is he really saying that a bantamweight MMA fighter could ask him for a date and he’d say no? Seems unlikely to me.
B) Then my sweet friend asked him how much he thought she weighed. She was trying to make a point, I see where she was going with it, but I also suspect you are currently seeing how it backfired. I don’t know how much she weighs but based on her reaction to his guess, I’m going to say he overestimated by 15 – 25 pounds. She might not be quite under his 110 lb limit, but she’s definitely close. So he can’t actually SEE 110 lbs when it’s in front of him. And he hurt her feelings, because he’d been espousing how unattractive something was and then immediately included her in that group.
The thing is, I support being attracted to whatever attracts you (again, as long as it’s appropriate and could be returned in a legal fashion). If cockknuckles like this guy want to set their sights on women with four percent body fat and very real training in ass kicking, more power to them. Their chances of success are their problem.
What is not ok is saying that other things are gross, ESPECIALLY if you have no idea what you’re talking about. If asked about your taste, explain briefly and non-insultingly and move on. No one needs to get hurt. (Except possibly idiots who hang out with bantamweight MMA fighters and then say 140 pounds is too heavy.)
Also, if some dummy says that he knows unequivocally what is and isn’t attractive, maybe tell him he doesn’t know what he doesn’t know and that he should shut his face. Or just walk away. Either one probably won’t dent his brain, but it might make you feel better.